I want you to forget about the man who broke your heart two years ago, or the guy who took you on the most romantic date ever and then never called you again. Forget about all the pressure, worry and frustration you normally feel about dating, and focus on one simple thing: how amazing it is to fall in love or at least develop strong feelings for someone.
One moment you can be sitting in a café or park minding your own business, and suddenly someone will walk into your life and change the way you see the world forever. When you think about it in its purest form, as human beings we’re extremely lucky to have this ability and built-in need to connect with other human beings.
Aside from how special and magical love can be, it can actually be pretty funny, too. Just think of some of the crazy things we do when we’re starting to fall for someone. Here’s how to know for sure if you’ve been struck with Cupid’s arrow.
1. You completely lose the ability to communicate.
I’ve seen doctors, lawyers, and other top professionals lose total control of their vocal chords when faced with someone of the opposite sex they found attractive. These people communicate for a living for goodness sake. Yet, put an attractive man or woman in front of them and they crumble. If you find yourself suddenly struck dumb, facing irrational mind blanks, or making small talk about the color of a guy’s shoes, chances are you’re attracted to him.
2. Your appetite shrinks immensely.
Well, only in the presence of that “special” person. You could be starving and ready to eat a horse, but when you hit that classy restaurant, you’re desperately scouring the menu for the smallest possible dish you can order. You know you have to order something or the guy will think you have an eating disorder, but whatever it is better be small and easy to swallow.
Things like spaghetti Bolognese are definitely off the menu for you. You could spill it down your top, or end up with it around your mouth. So you order the smallest thing on the menu, and then when it shows up you start to eat like a baby bird. You barely open your mouth wide enough to get a fork into it. Catch yourself eating like this and you’re starting to get feelings for someone.
3. You check your phone every 10 seconds, hoping for a text from them.
I see people do this all the time and it’s so obvious what’s going on. Every minute or two they take out their mobile phone and look hopefully at the screen. These people probably even have their phone on ring or vibrate, so you’ll hear it if someone is trying to contact you. But still you keep grabbing for your phone every minute just in case a message came in.
4. You save all their cutesy text messages.
The guy sent you a message saying, “I had a great time. You’re so cute, it’s crazy.” That message is going straight into the saved folder for safekeeping along with the other 200 messages you have from him. It’s great having all these saved text messages. That way if the person doesn’t text you back when they’re supposed to, you can just read all their nice messages and feel all fuzzy.
5. You start binge-watching rom-coms.
I swear there are people out there who only ever see a Jennifer Aniston or Ben Stiller movie when they’re falling for someone. There’s nothing like a great romantic comedy when you’re starting to develop feelings for someone to stoke those little flames of passion, especially when the two main characters start to realize they’re falling in love. We all secretly imagine it’s ourselves and our crush in the lead roles.
6. You notice love songs on the radio.
Not only do you start noticing love songs on the radio, but you get a little jolt of glee when you hear them, and even let out the occasional “Ahhh.” If things are starting to get really heavy for you, you might even sub-consciously select your own “special song” that you associate with the guy or girl you’re falling for. You probably also catch yourself singing along to these songs. Just make sure your crush doesn’t catch you.
7. You constantly zone out and daydream.
If you’re starting to feel strongly for someone, you’ll start watching little mental movies about them during the day. There you’ll be, sitting in your office, and suddenly you’ll transport yourself to some romantic location. Your date holds your hand, and whispers in your ear how much you mean to him. Your heart starts to race as he goes in for the kiss — and it’s right about then your office fire alarm goes off and you have to evacuate the building.
8. You start going to the gym every day.
Even if you’ve never cared about your weight before, when you start to fall for someone something will compel you to start training. You have no idea why, but instead of relaxing on the couch with a glass of red wine and Sex and the City re-runs, you’re now found pounding the treadmill with “Eye of the Tiger” blasting your eardrums out.
9. You post loving Dr. Seuss quotes on social media.
Dr. Seuss is a favorite of those newly in love. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep, because finally reality is better than your dreams” is one you’ll always see. All these love quotes suddenly have meaning to you, and you can’t help but tell the world how warm and fuzzy you feel. Suddenly, the person who used to scoff at anything “lovey dovey” becomes Mr. or Mrs. Cliché.
10. You genuinely feel good.
Love, attraction, infatuation — they all cause us to feel the effects of pleasure hormones in our system. When you hug someone, you have a release of oxytocin in your brain which makes you feel happy. Get that hug from someone you’re falling for and that feeling is multiplied.
I know some of this has been tongue-in-cheek, but my point really is that love and attraction are amazing, wonderful experiences we get to share with each other. Sure, sometimes love can hurt when things don’t go right, but don’t let that take away from the magic.