1. Putting you down — in private, but often in public. This is their attempt to shame you. Projecting their feelings of low self-worth on to you.
2. Embarrassing you in public.
3. Blaming you for their abusive and unhealthy behaviors. Using the “if, then” trick. If you don’t do “this” then I won’t do “that.”
4. Threatening to harm you or your family often.
5. Calling you derogatory names many times.
6. Making you feel bad or guilty when you don’t consent to sexual activity. Laying guilt on you that you “should” be doing this, and if you really loved me, you would be having sex with me. Or “I will have to find it elsewhere.”
7. Gaslighting: A form of psychological abuse where false information is presented to their victim to make them doubt their decisions, perceptions and judgement in their attempt to make you seem “crazy.”
8. Making you feel like you are always doing something wrong.
9. Isolating you from your family and friends. Playing victim when you want to spend time with family and friends.
10. Stating “we” never spend time together. “If you loved me, you would want to spend time with me.”
If you do go out, making multiple demands on you through numerous texts and phone calls.
11. Stalking you.
12. Threatening suicide when you attempt to break up with them — “I can’t live without you; I will kill myself if you break up with me.”
Learn to recognize these signs (and many more) and set yourself free!