21 questions is a game that was invented as an icebreaker; a creative way to know fun things and crazy things that you might have never known before about the person you play it with.
But in reality, this type of game can turn into something way more important; a way to know each other’s fears, desires, and dreams.
You can play this game at the beginning of your relationship, or when you’ve already both decided on going the long haul.
Whatever the case, here are 21 questions to get to know the person you love on an important level.
1. When you haven’t seen your family for a long time, what do you do when you see them again?
This is a good question to gage the relationship with their family, as well as the type of family they are. Are they huggers? More of the shake-hands type? Do they scream and laugh or are they more on the silent side?
Either way this question can help you prepare when you meet them, or understand why he always gives you a big bear hug when you see him, which you absolutely love.
2. Who has influenced you the most in your life?
This is a deeper question, and will force you to also think of the people who have shaped you to be who you are. It can help you both decide how you want to not only influence each other, but maybe your own future children someday.
3. What do you fear the most?
Another deep one, this can be a great insight into some of their fears and insecurities, and help you realize that yours aren’t as crazy or scary as you thought.
Plus it’s nice to be able to tell them, and tell yourself, you now have somebody to face those fears with.
4. Do you love what you do?
This can be an interesting one depending on your age and stage in life, because if you’re in school you obviously know they don’t want to work at the campus store forever.
Or maybe they do? This can be a good time to find out.
5. Could you survive a day without your phone? Several days? A year?
Most people nowadays can’t make it minutes without looking at their phone. Maybe you’re one of them, or he’s one of them.
This could be a good time to discuss the importance of technology in your lives and what kind of role you want it to have in your relationship.
6. If you could travel in time, would you want to visit the past or go to the future?
This question is as fun as it is introspective, and can lead to some pretty fascinating answers. Maybe they love the time of Hemmingway and Fitzgerald or maybe they would love to see a futuristic basketball game.
Only time can tell.
7. What is your go to food?
This question creates a sneaky opportunity to find out their favorite food, if you haven’t found out already, and can help you to know if it’s something you can eat for the rest of your life.
I am sure if it’s something you hate it won’t be a deal breaker, but at least you will be warned if you have to eat it every once in a while. Or every week.
8. What was your first favorite song and what is your current favorite song?
If music is important to you, this is the question to ask. Also, it’s good to prepare for what song you both will agree you want to dance to for your first dance.
I mean you don’t want to get Rick rolled on your wedding day.
9. What is more important to you: making a lot of money, or loving what you do?
Money is always an important topic to discuss as early as possible. You want to find out if they find ambition and prestige to be important or rather struggling a little but loving what they do.
Obviously they need to know the same from you, because if your visions are a little different it doesn’t mean it can’t be done, it just means you need to be accepting of what they want because it most likely won’t change.
10. What is your favorite place in the entire world?
This is a great question to find out if they love to travel or just loves their hometown. Maybe you can both plan your next adventure, or talk about possible honeymoon destinations.
11. What would be a complete deal-breaker for you in a relationship?
Everyone has them, and it’s good to know what theirs is. This can be a time to discuss why, like if it was learned from a past relationship or something they have always had in their minds.
You can share your deal-breakers too, and be excited and relieved when you realize that neither one of you falls into those categories.
12. If you could give your younger self some advice, what would it be?
Everyone has that age where life seemed miserable and that it could never get better.
This question can lead you both to reflect on how much you’ve changed and grown, and how lucky you feel to share it with someone who would also tell that younger self to just hold on.
13. What do you love most about yourself- physically or from your personality?
I’m sure you can think of many answers for what you love most about your significant other, but the fun of this question is to force them to reflect on what they love about themselves.
Hopefully there is at least something, because self-love is just as important as the love you have for one another.
14. Have you had any experiences that help you know God is real?
Talking about experiences with God is a great way to know the other person’s relationship with him.
Hopefully you both are on the same page on the role that God will play in your lives, and if you are, this is a good question to help understand why.
15. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done?
As Forest Gump once wisely said, “Stupid is as stupid does.” This means that you both may have very different ideas of what constitutes something “stupid” but in reality you both know this is a question about the craziest/dumbest thing you have ever done.
Everyone was a teenager once, and with that comes some adolescent thinking and doing.
16. When you are having a bad day, what makes you happy?
Your heart will jump for joy when he says, “You!”
But don’t just settle for that answer, although it’s a good one, but find out what really does cheer them up when they’re down, and vice-versa.
17. If your house was burning down and you could only save one thing, what would it be?
In the world we live in, or especially the state you live in, this can be a real thing to think about! It also is a good way to reflect on what is really important to you and also what is really important to the person you love.
18. If you could choose one moment in your life to play over and over again what would it be?
Everyone has special moments they wish could last forever. Find out his as he finds out yours, and who knows, maybe you both will have a new one that involves each other.
19. What bothers you the most about certain people?
If he says nothing, he is lying. Everyone gets annoyed by something every once in a while, and it’s perfectly ok to admit it.
Maybe they have a significantly high level of patience, which is great, but there is still something that bothers them.
20. If you could create any type of animal or creature, what would it be?
Would it be a lyger? A cheetah/cougar? Gizmo?
This one is purely for fun, plus it is fun to see their creative side as well.
21. What is the biggest lie you ever told and are you sorry about it?
It’s always good to end on a serious note, because the heaviness of this question might take some time to answer. Or maybe it won’t, but you won’t know until you ask.
Getting to know your significant other before you spend the rest of your lives together is pretty important, and turning it into a game only makes it that much more fun.