There are 10 surefire ways you CAN spot an emotionally unavailable man — so you can cut your losses early before you and your heart gets all wrapped up in his thrill seeking, heat seeking, um, body parts:
1. He stands you up.
This is one is easier to spot than an albino tiger in the wild, and I know it hurts. But be thankful that he did it on your first date and not when you’re waiting at the altar.
2. He is full of excuses.
“Oh sorry. I was really busy,” is his typical response to your text message three days later. Seriously? Just let him be.
3. He says, “I’m not looking for anything right now.”
When he talks, you need to listen — and don’t have a Hollywood script in your head that says, “Oh he’s going to want something serious he just doesn’t know me well enough yet. I just need to show him what he’s missing out on!” Don’t play these games with yourself. At least he’s being honest with you.
4. He doesn’t make plans to meet you.
Because he always has an excuse of being too busy with his daughter, is working too much, or that he had a stalker and is afraid to meet you. Either way, you want someone who takes time out of his day for you.
5. He is a master of seduction.
These men are hard to find, but when you find one, it is like your pants seem to fall off — like magic … maybe even a little too quickly for your normal comfort level. If you are worried about this happening with Mr. Smooth, follow these three steps:
DO NOT do ANY bikini maintenance.
DO NOT shave your legs.
DO wear your period underwear.
These methods are as good as wearing an uncomfortable, and very effective, chastity belt. If he sticks around without the sex, maybe he’s not so unavailable after all, right?
6. He has a bad temper
He is rude to servers, talks bad about his ex and is bad mannered in your presence. If someone is like this from the get-go, run for your emotional life before he crushes your heart with his mean-spirited demeanor.
7. A man who is on his phone constantly on your date.
This is a huge indicator that his mind is somewhere else. Those Facebook status updates can wait, and he can wait for the next victim (not you)
8. He thinks only about his wants and needs, and not yours.
This is NO fun and you will end up being a doormat. Cut him loose while you still have your self-esteem intact.
9. They have had many short-term relationships in the recent past.
Sally, two weeks ago, Monica, last month … it’s a pattern that’s not likely to stop at you. Be careful with someone who is a serial dater.
10. You just KNOW it.
You have a funny feeling. Your belly feels weird. The hairs stand up on your arms. You feel a tingling in your left pinkie. Whatever it is … LISTEN to yourself. Most of the time you’re right.
When you are dating, keep you heart open and appreciate Mr. Unavailable, because he is doing you a favor to give you more experience. Leave yourself open to meet Mr. Emotionally and Physically Available, and you will thank yourself for seeing the signs of an emotionally unavailable man early on.