If you could ask a husband or wife what their worst fear is when it comes to their marriage, many would probably say their partner having an affair.
Affairs are not only a betrayal of trust and love, but of the respect you have for your husband or wife and the commitment you’ve made to them.
But what some couples fail to realize is that although that might be a legitimate fear and something to avoid at all costs, there are some underlying problems that arise before the affairs begin.
Read: 5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage
And some of these problems are so bad, if not discovered or prevented, can ruin your marriage.
Here are 4 problems that even the strongest of marriages cannot outlive unless they are corrected, or never done in the first place:
1. When you stop being partners
Your husband or wife is your partner. This means that all decisions that pertain to your lives should be made together, thought through together, considered together.
When you stop being a team is where problems can begin, because instead of feeling that you can trust and rely on your spouse to have each other’s best interest in mind, you will feel alone and that you have to fight about every little decision.
2. When you start to blame
Life has many ups and downs and so does marriage. Sometimes we want to blame someone or something for these problems, but the worst thing you can do is point the finger at each other.
When this happens resentment can start to build, another element that can only serve to deteriorate your relationship.
Understand when it’s important to take responsibility or hold back when you feel like you are right. Be willing to compromise and see the other’s perspective.
3. When you become self-centered
“What about what I want?” “Why do you not do as much as me?” “Why do I always have to take care of the hard things?”
We are all human, and can sometimes be susceptible to this type of “I” thinking, especially within our marriage.
The bad news is the more we start to think about “I or me” and less about “we or them,” the easier it is to diminish all the good things our spouses do for us on a daily basis, and again begin to resent all the things they don’t do.
4. When there is an addiction
The thing about addicts is that their addiction comes before anything and anyone else, even if that isn’t obvious to their husband or wife.
If this is the case, it is important to address and discuss as a couple, and to encourage the person with the addiction to seek professional help.
Ignoring the addiction or trying to force them to change is only going to drive a larger and larger wedge between you and your spouse, and can backfire very badly.
Marriage should be built on principles of trust, respect, love, and sacrifice.
If you take the time to work on building this strong foundation, other scarier marriage issues are sure to not plague you and your spouse.