A Complete Guide To Being An Unemployed Person in a Face-Me-I-Face-You

The struggles are real and undeniable when living in a ‘Face-me-I-face-You house’. From sharing the same toilet, kitchen and bathroom to the constant bickering and gossiping, the hassles are never ending.

What makes these conditions somewhat manageable is having a day job and that sweet escape every morning till you have to get back home at night. If you’re unemployed and you live in a face-me-I-face-you house, your life will suck!

INFORMATION NIGERIA therefore brings you the complete guide to being jobless in a `Face-me-I-face-You house…


Information minister; Being unemployed means very long hours of lofting about. Therefore, you automatically become the house minister of information. They come to you for details on everything and anything because you know. Your knowledge about everything supercedes what happens in your house. You stretch it as far as your whole area and local government. You’re suppose to know if NEPA brought light, why there’s no light at the moment, when they’ll bring back the light or why the transformer blew.

Defence minister; Since you are always home, everyone  expects you to be the one to tighten the security of the house. It doesn’t matter whether you slept off or had to go somewhere, accusing fingers will be pointed straight at you, if something goes missing.

Messenger; Because it is rightly assumed that you won’t be going anywhere, be sure to be the one to receive all your neighbours packages, deliver their message to anyone who comes to check on them in their absence and take in their laundry when it starts to rain. Except you declare war with everyone, that would be your job until you get a real one.

Treasurer; You also hold the post of treasurer. It is you everyone pays the NEPA bills, security fee or waste collectors money to because you’re always home.

Unofficial TV worker; It is part of your duty to society to know every  TV show on  every channel and the time its being aired. As an unemployed Face-me-I-face-You resident, you give the full details to your neighbours on a particular TV show they missed.

Never a morning person; You can’t be an unemployed Face-me-I-face-You resident, and rise up early in the morning. what for? When the whole house is busy bumping into themselves in the general kitchen or bathroom early in the morning, that’s when your sleep gets into a new level. You’re suppose to say your first good morning between 11am and 1pm and rushing ton sleep isn’t your thing.