Emotional affairs don’t happen overnight but result from several seemingly insignificant everyday decisions (and many subtle lies).
Ladies, you don’t want to fall into this trap!
Emotional affair warning sign #1: Unguarded thoughts
Do you daydream about an ex from the past? Do you think of another person while you are having sex with your husband? Do you compare other men to your husband? These thoughts really do matter and it’s the build-up of one seemingly insignificant thought to another which begins the snowball effect toward demise. Your thoughts become words, and your words become actions.
If we begin comparing our husband’s lack of character to another or daydream about having an affair, we are creating that snowball effect towards destruction.
Emotional affair warning sign #2: Unguarded words
It’s so tempting to tell our husbands everything that we think about him, especially in the middle of an argument. We (wrongly) think this will help him and build our relationship. I’m not advocating that we be dishonest or hide our emotions from our husband, but obviously there are tactful (and not so tactful) ways to express a point.
Emotional affair warning sign #3: Believing the lie “He’ll never change.”
Annoyed by the little things in your marriage and convinced that your man will “never change”? We’ve all felt that! However, people can change and do every day.
Emotional affair warning sign #4: Believing the lie “I deserve an affair because I am not happy.”
Oh yes, the “happiness” lie. It is guaranteed that having an affair will not bring you a more joy-filled abundance. Why? First of all, because God tells us to stay faithful to our spouse. We can trust Him here because He created us and he authored the concept of marriage to begin with (not to mention the stars, the plants and everything we see before us). You might be tempted to feel loved and to believe that “I deserve to be happy because my husband isn’t providing my needs.” However, this is evidence of a deeper longing in your heart. Instead of looking for your husbands to “complete you,” you must change your thinking as wives. God is the only one who can complete us.
Emotional affair warning sign #5: Wondering about your ex
Do you find yourself searching Facebook for the name of an ex-boyfriend, coincidently after you and your spouse had a disagreement? This is a dangerous action that can easily lead to further intimacy and an emotional affair. Why are you searching for this person on social media? Why are you messaging them (even though you justify in your head that it’s harmless)? This is only going to lead to further emotional distance between you and your spouse, and further emotional intimacy towards this other person if they reciprocate your response.
If you are tempted to look up that guy, tell someone about it. Delete your ex-boyfriends from your friend lists. And if you really don’t trust yourself, delete Facebook altogether even if only for a time until you can get your heart right. Otherwise, the temptation may always be there to entice you.