When your BFF becomes a bride, it might seem like the BIG DAY is all you ever talk about. But before you quiz her on how much cash she’s putting down for the whole shin-dig, know that there are some questions best left unasked. Here are 16 things you should never ask the bride-to-be—unless you want to risk her going full-on bridezilla on your ass.
1. Are You Sure About This?
Unless you’re a.) a monster, or b.) have a sick desire to see the bride-to-be’s eyes bulge out in a wedding-induced panic attack, avoid asking her if she’s sure about marrying the person who got on one knee. Even if you kind of think he’s a loser.
2. Is There Anything I Can Do?
If you actually want to lend a hand, be more specific about how you could help out, instead of going in with an open-ended question. Or, if you have zero intentions of chipping in (and that’s totally OK), you can skip the vague offer all together.
3. How Much Will This Thing Cost?
We all know weddings are expensive, so don’t ask a bride to put a sign on how much she’s spending.
4. And How Are You Paying For It?
Some couples go the traditional route and have the bride’s parents foot the bill for the wedding, and some pay for it themselves. Either way, that’s insider information. Mind your own beeswax, baby.
5. Are You Worried About Cold Feet?
If she is worried (and you’re tight enough), she’ll tell you about it. It’s normal for a bride-to-be to have a lot of nervous jitters. So help her stay calm during those moments and avoid adding any more pre-wedding tension.
6. Are You Planning to Lose Weight?
This also goes on the list of things you should never ask anyone…ever. Don’t bring up bridal bootcamp or shedding lbs unless she does first.
7. What’s the Big Deal?
Telling your bride to calm down is the fastest way to get her to totally lose her sh*t. Let your friend have her moments, and she’ll (hopefully) extend the same kindness to you the next time you’re freaking out about something.
8. Why Are You Acting Like a Bridezilla?
Even if you notice the bride is starting to act like a little cray, don’t call her out on it directly. Sit down and listen to the challenges she’s facing with her wedding, and find ways to calm her down by offering to help out (but remember #2—be specific!).
9. Can I Bring a Plus One?
Chances are if you weren’t invited with a date, it’s too late to ask for one. But if you really have someone in mind, tell the couple that if they have any last-minute cancellations and don’t mind, you have a date you’d love to bring along.
10. Will You Show Me Your Dress?
It’ll be more fun for everyone if you let the bride reveal her choice on the special day. Plus, you really don’t want to risk having to pretend it’s beautiful if it’s not your taste.
11. What Time Does the Wedding Start?
Um, check your invitation, the couple’s wedding website, or text a bridesmaid for the info. But try not to bother the bride with questions like this—she’ll be busy enough in the weeks before her wedding.
12. Can I Bring My Kids?
The couple will tell you if your kids are invited, or if it’s a kid-free party. Either way, have a babysitter on duty just in case.
13. When Will You Have Kids?
Can a girl walk down the aisle before getting hit with this question!? Or, better yet, just never ask it at all…
14. How Much Is This Going to Cost Me?
This one’s (usually) on you, not the bride. If you find that attending this wedding is costing you more than you’d like to spend, find ways to budget better or RSVP no.
15. What if It Rains?
Trust: The bride is probably checking the weather forecast more than you would ever want to imagine. So if it says rain, it’s safe to say she knows and is already trying to piece together a rain day back-up plan.
16. You Know It’s Just a Party, Right?
Sure, it might just be a party to you, but to the bride-to-be it may be one of the biggest and most special days of her life. Let her soak it in.