Regardless of the circumstances of his previous marriage, going through a divorce can also impact how a guy sees or acts in a romantic relationship. That’s why you should ask him these key things before you get serious:
1. Are you comfortable talking about your divorce?
A man who completely avoids the topic or shows “significant discomfort” talking about his divorce may still be emotionally invested or, at the very least, has some serious tension about the topic. And that’s a red flag. It shows that he has an unhealthy connection to his previous marriage and/or spouse, which could be trouble for your future.
2. Do you want to get married again?
You might assume that since he’s been married before, he wouldn’t have any issues hitching up again, but, that’s not always the case. Some may not want to get married againafter experiencing it once. It’s important to determine where your guy stands on the issue, and how it aligns with where you see your future going.
3. Do you believe that you can spend your life with someone?
Even if neither of you is interested in marriage, it’s a good idea to find out whether he thinks two people can be together for the long haul—ring or no ring.
4. Did you want the divorce?
According to Stanford University research, 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women. And, while your guy may not have initiated the divorce, it’s good to find out if he wanted it. You want to suss out that he is not still pining for his old life. You also want to find out if he is still holding a torch for his ex. Granted, it’s possible he didn’t want the divorce but he’s since moved on. However, his answer to the question can provide clues as to whether that’s the case.
5. How do you feel about your ex?
Not everyone can speak highly about their ex, but if he’s super bitter or angry about her, that could be a sign that he’s still emotionally invested in the relationship.