Here are nine warning signs that might mean it’s time to ditch your boo and run for the hills.
1. He won’t introduce you to his friends. He’s met your BFF and your roommates, but whenever you suggest hanging out with his friends, he’s armed and ready with an excuse. You know he has friends because they make frequent appearances in his social media, but you can’t seem to score an invite to one of their secretive hangouts. Maybe he doesn’t want you to meet his boys because he doesn’t view your relationship as a long-term thing, or perhaps his friends don’t even know you exist because, to them (and whomever else), he’s still single. Whatever the reason is, confront him about it sooner rather than later.
2. He’s emotionally attached to his phone (especially around you). A guy who’s addicted to technology isn’t the most attractive thing to begin with. But a guy who can’t take a break from texting when he’s on a date with you? Huge. Red. Flag. He’s showing you that he doesn’t value your time together enough to put down the phone and fully focus on you, not to mention that it’s super shady — who in his life is requiring constant and immediate responses? Probably not his mom or his friends. And you know it’s not you. Proceed with caution.
3. He goes on and on about his “crazy” exes. This one’s a biggie. When a guy revels in trashing the people he used to date, he’s showing you that he lacks respect for women that, at one point in time, probably meant a lot to him. Don’t forget that you, too, could soon find yourself in this category. And then there’s this: What’s the one thing all these “crazy” chicks have in common? They dated him. He’s the common denominator, so either he’s grossly misrepresenting these people, or he was incredibly skilled at pushing their buttons. Bad and worse.
4. He can’t make decisions on his own. Decisiveness can be difficult, no question about that. But when an adult male is constantly looking to his mom, his friends or even to you for approval before making non-life changing decisions? This is not cute, and it probably means that his maturity level doesn’t match his age.
5. He criticizes you more than he compliments you. Long-term relationships aren’t easy. You’re bound to eventually get on each other’s nerves and start nitpicking. What shouldn’t be hard, however, are the first few months of dating someone — that’s why they call it the honeymoon period. So if he’s super critical and hard on you right off the bat, take that as a sign of (not so good) things to come.
6. He’s shady AF about his past. He glosses over his relationship history, never talks about his family and can’t seem to put into words what exactly he does career-wise. Maybe he doesn’t trust you enough to open up about his life (red flag), or maybe he’s hiding something (redder flag). Instead of pulling out your magnifying glass and going full-on FBI to try to figure out what’s really going on, just ask him about it. If he still won’t be straight with you, it’s time to make a change.
7. He posts more selfies than you do. My mom always told me, “don’t date a man who looks in the mirror more than you do.” In today’s world, these wise words roughly translate to: Don’t date a dude who inundates his social media accounts with pouty pics of his own face. It’s weird (IMO), completely vain and proves that he thrives off of constant gratification from others — none of which are good traits in a potential man-friend.
8. He continually messes up simple details about you. When, after several months of dating, he still can’t remember what college you went to or constantly forgets that you’re a vegetarian, it might be time to reevaluate things. Either he doesn’t care enough to truly listen when you tell him about yourself, or worse, he’s confusing you with other girls he’s talking to.
9. He lives way beyond his means. Ah, the classic “champagne taste on a beer budget” syndrome. There’s something sketchy going on when your guy is always the first in line when the new iPhone debuts, has a baller place in a pricy neighborhood and travels the world in first-class style — yet only has an entry-level or a part-time job.