7 Things That Matter Less Than You Think In A Relationship

Choosing a romantic partner is one of the most important decisions you’ll make in life. (Or not choosing one ― we see you, single-by-choice people!)

While it’s important to be selective, experts agree that there are some qualities that are less crucial than most people think. Below, they share eight of them.

1. Your partner fits your “type.”

At this point, you know your physical type: dark hair, tall, tattooed ― hey, you can’t help what you like. Still, don’t be so quick to swipe left on people who don’t fit that profile. Looks change over time anyway.


2. You share the same interests and hobbies.

Dating someone who loves sci-fi movies and camping as much as you do is fun, but your interests don’t have to align completely for the two of you to last. They aren’t the glue that holds a relationship together over time. Shared values around money, commitment and children are more important than hobbies and sports. A common interest in hobbies are icing on the cake, but that genuine connection could be lurking below the surface.

3. You never argue.

Don’t buy into the myth that a happy relationship is argument-free. Successful, healthy couples do argue, they just handle fights better. It’s really about your ability to resolve conflict once it’s started.”

4. You have the same level of education.

You’re severely limiting yourself ― not to mention being a bit of a snob ― if you’re only dating people with similar educational backgrounds. Remember, some of the most intelligent and successful people in the world were ‘college dropouts’: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, just to name a few. What matters more is your ability to engage in meaningful and stimulating conversations. You just need to be on the same page intellectually.

5. You can always depend on your partner for entertainment.

Sure, you and your partner should have fun together ― but they shouldn’t be your sole source of excitement. Many clients complain about this and I tell them that their partner’s job is not to be their entertainment. What you need is a partner who is game to do things when the urge to do something arises. If you’re bored, what are you going to do about it? There’s no point expecting your partner to provide excitement and entertainment all the time.

6. You’re both financially secure and on the path to make even more.

Financial security and similar spending habits will reduce anxiety about paying the bills and generally make your household run smoother. Money matters, but accumulating wealth doesn’t necessarily lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

7. Your friends and family think your S.O. is amazing.

You want your inner circle to support your relationship, but they don’t have to be your partner’s biggest fans. We should be mindful not to put too much weight on what ‘the peanut gallery’ thinks about our relationship.

In other words, if you genuinely have fun with your partner, don’t spend too much time wondering, “Do all my friends think he’s kind of dull?”


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