Romance: Does duration really matter?

Image result for black couple in bedThere is usually a lot of pressure on us and most times from ourselves, to have sex, have good sex, have steady sex, have safe sex, have innovative sex, have long sex, have short sex, have the sex (the sex here referring to the type where you seriously begin to find truth in DaVinci Code’s implying that through sexual intercourse, a man and a woman can experience God, can become perfect and come to knowledge of spiritual truth). If you’ve had the sex then congratulations!

About a week ago, a friend told me about one herbal mix he stumbled upon, I think Baban Aisha was the name. For some reason it reminded him of me. So he stops to take a look at the mix and the vendor activates his marketing skills.

Good for diabetes, hypertension, ulcer, malaria, diarrhoea, prostate disease, premature ejaculation…

Premature ejaculation? My friend asks.

Yes sir! If you nor dey last reach 43 minutes, na premature ejaculation be that.

Though there are a lot of timing  variations for the classification of premature ejaculation, the general consensus is that ejaculation before penetration or less than a minute after, is premature and it affects many aspects of the relationship and life in general. In addition to the obvious quality of sex component, there is poor self confidence, difficulty with making babies, cheating (from either party), aggression, etc. So even though he was sure 43 minutes was a bit of an exaggerated cut off mark, he did buy it, because “43 minutes never hurt anybody.” And he claims it worked. And he is happy.

Now let’s not ask questions like how much research was put into this herbal mix? how did they arrive at 43 minutes? Was it tested on animals? What are the possible side effects? Indications? Contra indications? Let’s just be pleasantly surprised that the thing worked as advertised. But what I want to understand is this: is the she in this equation happy? Is 43 minutes really a good thing? I’m here thinking if I’m in her shoes, I’ll probably be trying to find the root of this new development and destroy it. 43 minutes! That’s almost a full episode of Game of Thrones.

Enough time to give yourself a pedicure, make jollof rice, iron your clothes for the week. 43 minutes! Why will someone even want that? I mean besides the stress of having someone’s business up in your business for that long, who has all that time?

In one survey in America, a man indicated that he had premature ejaculation because he could last for only 25 minutes. How long really do people want to have sex for? I mean, we have not even calculated the time invested in foreplay yet, or am I the odd one out here?

In the process of trying to find out where I stand in the oddness scale, I stumbled upon the popular (apparently) Jamaican black stone, also known as the love stone. It is a dark brown all natural male sexual performance enhancer that looks like black soap and dissolves in water. It is made from the sap of an unnamed tree, though some contain toad venom and has been reported to make sexual performance last for hours. Hours, people! In the end, will it also elongate the orgasm? No. This sex is not a competition, if I want something that’ll be hard forever, that’s what dildos are for (no, I can’t overemphasize the value of sex toys). Solving premature ejaculation is one thing, having a sex marathon is another.

Funny enough, research has also shown that only 1 in every 4 women consistently reaches an orgasm through penetration, irrespective of size or shape of the penis, duration or emotions. This means that if he happens to be Mr. 43 minutes and above and she is Ms. the-other-3-of-the-4, he’ll just be stressing her and her business. This also means that we should shift focus a little, too much attention on duration (I can’t even begin to talk about size today), men putting too much pressure on themselves for what nobody sent them.

We need to relax a little and see the many other great ways sexual pleasure can happen and in case you were wondering, I don’t know where one can get this Jamaican stone, or Baban Aisha for that matter.


Culled from OlisaTv