Although many women don’t joke with the idea of marriage at all and are in some cases, in a haste to settle down, these are certain things they should take note of before tying the knot.
For women, some things can be learned over time, with a lot of experience. Others can be easily learned while some can be learned by simple observation. Marriage is one of those things that no matter how long a woman studies or observes it; there is always something new for her to learn.
When it comes to marriage, no woman knows it all but there are some things every woman should know before they get married. These things can also be applied during marriage as well.
Your husband doesn’t want another mother
Don’t go into marriage with the belief that you are your husband’s mother. He wants a partner, someone to be by his side supporting him and someone he can support too. You might be tempted to tell him what to do or nag him, but avoid that temptation.
A lasting marriage is made up of two forgiving people
Even after you marry the best man in the world, he will come with imperfections and faults, and you also come with imperfections and faults. Learn to move past hurts and forgive him for his shortcomings. Learning to forgive quickly is a necessary skill for a marriage that will last.
Passion actually never has to fade
Yes, there will be times when you feel gross and tired and that passion and romance is the last thing on your mind. But make the effort to keep the passion alive in your relationship because you and your marriage will be grateful in the long run.
Be aware of unrealistic expectations
They can be harmful to you and your husband’s lasting happiness. Forget all the unrealistic expectations you have about how your marriage should be a fairy tale. Marriage is hard work.
Respect your husband
Nothing will make your husband feel more honoured and loved like the gift of your respect. He won’t necessarily admit it, but he really needs it. But don’t forget that you need respect as much as you give. You are human too.
Don’t expect your husband to fulfil all your needs
Your husband is just one person who can’t be expected to be everything you need in your life. Balance is important in all things including the relationship with your husband. Maintain your friendships and family bonds even as you get married.
Be realistic about romance
Don’t get caught up in romantic movies and novels, they can distort your view on what real romance is. You should find out how your husband wants to be loved and give him that even as he loves you too.
Don’t compare your husband to anyone else
Comparison is just never a good idea, especially when it comes to your husband. Love and appreciate the man you have. The grass is not green on the other side in all cases. The grass is green where you water it.
There really is no smooth marriage
You and your husband may face totally different trials or victories than any other couple you may ever meet, and that’s perfectly okay. The important thing to remember is that you and your husband will face them together, hand in hand.
Understand that the world doesn’t revolve around you
This is not to say that you are a selfish or self-centred person to begin with, but marriage takes the whole selfless thing to another level. And at times, it can be a difficult but necessary lesson to learn. Being selfless is one of the ingredients of a happy marriage.
When things get tough, don’t give up
Unless it is abuse, infidelities or illegal activity, don’t look for reasons to give up on your marriage. But don’t let your husband get away with disrespecting you and the vows you took. Infidelity is a deal breaker. When hope is alive and well in a marriage, it helps it to thrive and grow no matter what is thrown at it.
Make your husband and marriage a priority
Remember at the end of the day who you come home to. Put him first, because he puts you first too and you are now his family. Don’t allow people walk all over your husband or disrespect your union. Remember to make your marriage a priority.
Find joy in the little things
You know that inside joke that you and your husband have that almost makes you pee your pants every time it’s mentioned? Or the way he kisses you goodnight right before you fall asleep? It’s in those little moments and all the rest that you can find joy and happiness in your marriage.