Advice Column: I have no womb but can’t tell the man who just asked me to marry him


Please keep me anonymous I beg you in God’s name.


It may seem like wickedness but I know I’m not – this is the only man that has ever taken me serious in my bloody life. The only one that is kind enough to make me his wife and my conscience won’t let me breathe. Tell him, tell him, tell him. That’s a conscience from hell, a conscience that wants to see me die an old hag. I can’t do that to myself.

I was in 300L in the university when my boyfriend then, got me pregnant again for the 6th time since we were dating. I had no choice but to abort it like I did in previous cases but I didn’t know that was the last straw. I went to the same nurse who did the previous,  and she did it but the bleeding didn’t stop, went back and she gave me a drug to stop the bleeding and it did but I started having excruciating pains and my room mates, who couldn’t watch me die, rushed me to the school clinic. There, I was transferred to my school’s teaching hospital where I was given the bad news that my womb had been perforated badly during the abortion and would never be able to have a child. It remains the saddest news I have ever received.

I didn’t date for many years and after NYSC I started again but all the guys that came where all for the sex and didn’t give a damn about me. Then, when I was about to swear off dating, this night in shinning amour comes into my life. He asked me to marry him after 8months of being together but my silly conscience won’t let me be.


Please everyone, I’m traumatised, what should I do, tell him and lose him? or tell him after the wedding? or not tell him at all??? Please please please help me.



Hello everyone, this is the INFORMATION NIGERIA Advice Column where you can drop your relationship pains and we would gladly help you solve the puzzle. Like they say, a problem shared is a problem half solved. Hit us up at [email protected].


  1. The fruit of marriage is childbirth. Yet, not every couple cares about childbirth despite its essentiality. Yes, you made mistakes by giving yourself cheaply to guys as a youngster which led to a series of abortions, and eventually cost you your womb. What has happened, has happened – you cannot undo it. So you must forgive yourself then ask God for forgiveness, and truly repent. Now that you seem ready to settle down after playing around, you must be sincere with your “knight in shining armour” by telling him that you have an issue with your womb! Of course, it will be difficult to unveil to him your past escapades but, he should know your medical condition. It may not deter him from marrying you if indeed he loves you. Besides, miracle still exists. Your condition may reverse itself in future. Who knows? But, should the man change his mind about marrying you, life goes on. Be a “born-again” faithful, and forge ahead with a new clean life. Your reward may still come some other way. Nevertheless, you don’t sound remorseful enough.