Many people jump into marriage blindly. They have blinders over their eyes that keep them from understanding how valuable and sacred marriage is.
They jump into marriage as if it were their first puppy love date. They in fact perceive marriage to be something it is not. The consequences that result from this impulsive behavior are disastrous.
1. Know that Marriage Belongs to God
Did you know that even the unbeliever’s marriage belongs to God? That’s because God created, designed and established every aspect of marriage and just because some people do not go by the principles of God’s design for marriage doesn’t mean God is not watching what’s happening in their marriage.
Many people when they get married have this silly idea that their spouse will cater to their every whim and that they will continually be swept off their feet. But this notion is a misconception and totally false. The Cinderella, Prince Charming fairytale doesn’t last, not in any marriage. But with God at the helm of your marriage it can certainly be a loving and caring union filled with happiness and many blessings.
The truth is marriage was created for the Creator. It is not ours to do whatever we please with and this is why many marriages today do not have God’s blessings in their marriage. Marriage takes giving of each other and humbleness, just like Christ gave himself up for us! It takes loving actions and behaviors just as Christ loves us! As you can clearly see without applying Christ-like principles in our marriage we will suffer for it.
2. Know What Love is BEFORE Getting Married…
Love is not that first puppy love feeling. Love is not the lust you feel for someone on your second date. Love is not that deep desire you have for someone else other than who you are married to. Love is not a feeling but an action!! Not that you can’t feel loved by your spouse or significant other but that true love takes Christ-like principles to complete it, such as forgiveness, submission, kindness, appreciation, caring, and selfless acts, even when you don’t feel like doing these things.
To be able to fully love another in the way Christ loves us is to realize the power of the Holy Spirit within you and then pray for Christ to help you be a good spouse. Jesus Christ is here now—He lives within you! There is no waiting for Him to show up on shiny horse in the clouds—the Kingdom of Heaven is within you! For the Christian Jesus Christ is our King now!! Loving your spouse in the right ways will not be easy if you are still living to please yourself. We should be living to please God through Jesus Christ.
“For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 14:17)
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” – Galatians 5:22-23
3. Know What Your Role is in Marriage BEFORE Getting Married…
Scripture clearly lets us know what a wife’s and husband’s role is in marriage. But couples continue to confuse these two roles and when they do they are rebelling against God’s design for them in Marriage. God is the Creator of marriage and we are the creation—that means we are to manage our marriage in the way that God created and designed us to manage it and let the Creator direct the marriage and be our Guide! We need to stop acting like we are God in our marriage. We need to take ourselves off the pedestal and put God on there where He belongs!
Two bulls in the same pen will not work, nor will two cows. What works best, and is the design for marriage, are a bull and a cow. Someone must take charge and responsibility for the spiritual aspects and proper function of the marriage, lest there will be problems. And according to God and history that role has always been given to the bull and the buck. God made Adam head over Eve, not as a demanding dictator but as a loving protector and provider. Husbands are to love their wives in the same way Christ loves us! If you still don’t know how to do that go back to the “know what love is before getting married” section of this article.
So the BOTTOM LINE is if you’re going to get married some day, know who the Creator of marriage is and realize that marriage is for God’s purpose and not our own. Let’s please God with our marriages. And if you are already married then start loving your spouse! Be love! Be responsible and start taking care of God’s marriage. Be committed and devoted to your marriage no matter what. Ask Jesus to help you be a loving and caring spouse that God wants you to be according to His design, not your design.