We know that talking about your feelings can be uncomfortable. But in order to keep your girl happy, you’re going to have to do a bit of soul baring. Don’t panic: A little goes a long way. Simply weave one of these topics into conversation and you’ll have covered your communication quota.
YOUR CHILDHOOD: Remember when your dad taught you how to ride a bike? Sure, it may be a silly, sentimental story to you, but girls eat that stuff up. Women tend to be analytical about their own childhood, so if you give your girlfriend a glimpse into your upbringing, she gets a fuller idea of who you are. Sharing something as simple as your obsession with a new TV show will be enough to quench her curiosity.
YOUR WORK: Unless you’re on a top-secret mission, you’re probably cool about discussing your job. So tell her when you’ve had a good day and why, what some of your frustrations are, and where you’d like to end up career-wise. ‘Men often define themselves by what they do for a living, and by talking about it, you’re showing her a side of your personality that she may not normally get to see,’ says Dr James Sniechowski.
WHY YOU’RE INTO HER: You may have already told her that she’s cute or she rocks your world in bed, but your girlfriend wants sweet specifics. ‘She needs to feel that you value her and see her for who she really is,’ says Olson. ‘To reinforce that, compliment her on the less obvious things she does that appeal to you so much.’ No, that doesn’t mean you have to recite a laundry list of love-you stuff. Just focus in on key qualities like the way she laughs or how well she treats her friends.
THE FUTURE: You may not have a five-year plan, but chances are, you’ve thought about where you’d like to be down the road. Do you want to start your own business? Have a getaway cabin in the mountains? If you’ve given it any thought at all – and you’re far enough along in your relationship that it would be cool to discuss it – she’s going to want to hear about it. ‘When you share your long-term goals and dreams, she not only sees what kind of man you are when you strip away your typical day-to-day exterior, but she also gets a clue as to how compatible you’ll be long-term,’ says Sniechowski.