Progressive swínging is a newer term that describes swíngers who are comfortable with, and sometimes prefer, some level of emotional intimacy with their other séxual partners.
I use the term “open relationship” interchangeably with “ethical non-monogamy,” and I use both terms as an umbrella for all relationship styles that are open, honest and consensual forms of non-monogamy.
Some people think of an “open relationship” as an emotionally monogamous/séxually promiscuous one, but this is just one type of open relationship.
So under our umbrella of open relationship styles, we find labels like:
1. Partnered non-monogamy.
Often, partnered individuals who practice this form have an emotionally monogamous/érotically promiscuous relationship.
The focus tends to be more on séxual variety and séxual relationships with other people, and other relationships tend to be casual and commitment-free.
2. Swínging.
Traditional swínging is very similar to partnered non-monogamy, in that the focus tends to be on séxual variety and séxual relationships with other people.
However, the culture of swínging is very couple-centric. That is, most people you would meet at a swíngers club are couples and many couples only “play” together (in the same room).
There are different kinds of swínging, from same-room séx to soft swap (everything but váginal séx) to full swap (includes váginal séx).
The community and culture is a large part of the swínging experience and are distinguishing factors from partnered nonmonogamy.
3. Progressive swínging.
Progressive swínging is a newer term that describes swíngers who are comfortable with, and sometimes prefer, some level of emotional intimacy with their other séxual partners.
Often, progressive swíngers enjoy having friendships with their play partners and enjoy doing nonséxual activities outside of the bedroom in addition to séxual activities.
4. Polyamory.
This relationship supports multiple loving relationships. For many people practicing polyamory, emotional closeness with other partners is a priority.
Forms of polyamory include:
1. Hierarchical polyamory (having a primary relationship while other relationships are considered secondary).
2. Nonhierarchical polyamory (no one partner is more of a priority than the other).
3. Polyfidelity (a multiple primaries model. Here, three or more partners decide to be primaries with one another).
And, for some people in poly relationships, the relationship may consist of emotional, but not érotic, intimácy.
Other forms that would be included under this umbrella include solo polyamory and monogamous/polyamorous and monogamous/non-monogamous combinations.
For further reading on all of these, I would highly recommend Tristan Taormino’s “Opening Up.”
What is not included under this umbrella?
Unethical forms of non-monogamy — cheating.
Honesty and consent are the hallmarks of open and ethically non-monogamous relationships.
And of course, all open relationships are unique because different individuals want and need different things. Different couples and groups of partners have different boundaries and agreements.
So while labels can be helpful in understanding big concepts, remember there is no one “right” way to have an open relationship.
Which type of open relationship best fits your needs? Why?
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