From so many women I hear phrases such as, “Why can’t I find a good man”, “All men are dogs”, “Why does dating have to be so difficult?”. I’m going to leave the first two quotes alone for now but let’s answer the last one. Dating is a mess because sometimes YOU make it that way. I’m not saying that the other party involved doesn’t play their part in all of this. It’s just that I see so many women constantly set themselves up for failure but they only want to focus on the mistakes/bad intentions of that man. If you truly want to solve the problem then taking that approach isn’t going to help you.
1. Expecting him to chase you
I always hear women say “if a man wants you, nothing can keep him away” this isn’t entirely true but I get it. What women who are dating fail to realize is, he doesn’t truly know you yet. He knows he is attracted to you and that you have caught his interest. He is willing to explore the possibilities but he has yet to determine if he truly “wants you”. So expecting him to jump through hoops isn’t helping the process. Making things difficult on purpose to test him is unnecessary. Some good men don’t have time for all of that and will quickly drop you from relationship potential. I’m in no way saying that a woman should chase a man, but I am saying that expecting him to run after you while you put little to no effort is typically a setup for failure.
2. 2. Not being yourself
Dating is notorious for people bringing out their “representatives”. Everyone is trying to put their best foot forward in order to get the person they currently desire. Nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression, but when that includes being someone you’re not, it will only lead to problems later. You should strive to be the best you that you can be. If they don’t like it, or connect with who you are, then they can keep it moving. That simply clears the way for the person who will appreciate the real you. The last thing you want is to find yourself with this person years later only to feel like you have lost yourself, or for them to want to run once the real you comes out of hiding.
3. Believing he can read your mind
There are men who have been married for years who still struggle to know what his woman is thinking or what she is expressing non-verbally. Even when she speaks, he doesn’t always know what the hell she is talking about. So how can you expect a man who does not know you to understand you and what you are not verbally expressing. What you may feel is common sense may not be so common to that man. We all express and interpret things differently, so you have to take time to get on the same page by actually saying what you mean. Men appreciate a woman who can present a clear message in a positive manner. All the unnecessary guessing games and confusion will simply lead to his and your frustration.
4. Not giving what you expect in return
If you want respect then you should give respect. If you want honesty then stop telling lies. If you want a good man who will put forth effort and show he genuinely wants you then stop thinking you can keep your walls up, act like you’re not interested, or bring no true value to the table. Too many women have convinced themselves that certain negative behaviors are acceptable simply because they are tired of getting played. Tired of putting good out only to get bad in return. So in the name of “protecting themselves” they now hold back and put walls up. The issue wasn’t what you put out but who you chose to give it to. By holding back now because of the mistakes in the past, you are now creating a bigger mistake that will cause more damage.
5. Not trusting your intuition
As a woman, you are likely very smart by nature. Chances are you pay attention to every detail and remember things very well. You also have this inner voice that is usually so on point with picking up on things. So why do you continue to ignore it? In dating so many women have wasted so much time simply because they didn’t listen to their intuition. When you know that guy isn’t best for you, don’t try to convince yourself otherwise. Don’t ignore the red flags just to avoid having to move on, be alone, and/or try with someone else. I don’t care if the date went well and he presented himself as prince charming. He may just be a frog in disguise and your intuition is trying to help you from being fooled by what you see on the surface.
http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2013/08/5-mistakes-women-make-with-dating/nggallery/image/5-not-trusting-your-intuition/
