Marriage is considered to be a bond that is blessed by the Almighty Himself. From a married couple, it demands commitment and selfless giving. However, in these changing times, the idea of being only a giver in a marriage is not acceptable to either of the sexes.
Marriage has become more about striking a balance between thinking about yourself and taking care of the needs of your partner. Here we bring to you some reasons that explain, why being selfish sometimes, is actually healthy for your relationship.
#1. Makes you happier
The virtual world of movies, television and social media, portrays marriage as ‘happily everafter’. We believe that our special someone is waiting out there for us, with the key to unlock our happiness. But, in reality, it does not work that way. We hold the key to our own happiness, and being selfish helps us to see the truth.
Sometimes, you centre your life entirely around your other half. You may think that your sacrifices for your partner will make your spouse very happy. But, in the long run, this might make your relationship suffer. Your partner might start taking you for granted for all the compromises you make, which can create a sense of discontentment in you. Think about yourself too. A ‘happy you’ will also maintain a pleasant atmosphere. Additionally, you both will not feel suffocated in the relationship.
#2. Less fights in the relationship
Continued spells of petty domestic fights can ruin any happy and healthy relationship. The root cause for most of these skirmishes is too much dependency of one partner on the other. The more dependent one is on the other, that partner will more likely feel let down.
On the other hand, selfishness brings peace and calm. If both of you take care of your own selves, chances are, you will have less fights. So, selfishness is not actually ignoring your partner, instead it is about being more concerned about your own flaws and working on them.
#3. You acknowledge each other
When you start taking care of yourself, you tend to demand less from your partner and acknowledge every small little thing that he/she does for you. Expectations are less, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Once you are already happy with yourself, you do not look up to your partner to boost your ego.
#4. Strengthens your bond emotionally
If you constantly demand time and attention from your partner, it can create tension in your relationship. However, when you spend a good amount of time with yourself, it gives space in the relationship to your partner as well. As a result, your partner also wants to spend more time with you. This way, the love between you becomes unconditional, and your relationship becomes stronger than ever.
#5. Increases intimacy
While making love, if you put your happiness over the contentment of your partner, sex becomes more liberating. You do not have to be just lovey-dovey and please your partner all the time. Be honest about your needs and tell your partner what you expect, and see how exciting your sessions in the sack will become.
Recommended Read: Top 8 Mistakes Married Women Make In Bed
A little bit of selfishness in your marriage can give you your own personal space while getting rid of fatigue in a relationship. Just keeping a little distance can spice things up, keep the romance alive, and the flame of passion burning constantly. So, follow these simple tips and enjoy your married life, always!
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Wao, sorry to totally disagree, selfishness among couples are one of the issue that crashes marriages. Many of the divorce cases are the direct result of selfishness. Most at times, you hear divorcee cite “irreconcilable differences” as the cause of their divorce. The major cause of irreconcilable differences is selfishness. Once there is selfishness among couple, they would never yield to decisions and opinions of their partner if such opinion or decisions are not favorable to them as a person.
Secondly, i have never seen selfish couples trust each other while as trust is one of the pillars of marital success. Once there is selfishness among couple, they will never trust each other but will be suspecting each other all the time. Again, marriages succeeds when couples learn to live a life of give and take, a life of sacrifice, but once there is selfishness each of the parties will focus on what to grab or receive from their partner and not what to give.
In fact, the harm selfishness causes to marriages far out-weigh its benefits and as a marriage counselor, i discourage married couples from allowing selfishness to enter their marriage. From what the author is advocating, selfishness never make you happier, what makes you happier is when couples sacrifice and strive to make their partner they end up being happier as well. If you love your partner, you will never be happy if he/she is not happy.
I don’t want to cancel the above post because i could prove all the points mentioned WRONG but i will not do that. Finally i wish to declare that selfishness among couple would never create intimacy and intimacy is one of the bed rock to build a happy home. Once couple are selfish, they will strive to conceal certain information, they will strive to manipulate their partners for their selfish advantage.
As a marriage counselor, i won’t keep quiet to to what i see that could spell dome for couples living happily because for couples living happily to implement the five points mentioned above, their marriage could crash as a result. I challenge the author for a dialogue to reconcile the above topic and points.