As you read this there are about 3.5 billion women living in this world – 3.5 billion gorgeous women. This means you’re going to be surrounded by beautiful women your whole life, and, if you are human, you’ll notice.
As will the men in your life.
When another woman walks by with all those physical attributes you’ve always self-consciously been aware that you lack, it hardly helps to notice your man sneak a peak at her. We ladies try not to notice. We try not to be hurt by it, but sometimes it’s hard to ignore. The following should be remembered when you notice his eyes wandering across the room:
1. Companionship is not skin deep
If you are in a healthy relationship, there is something you have to offer your man that another woman does not: history, relationship and your companionship.
Attraction may have initially triggered your connection, but real relationships evolve from the googly-eyed phase to something with meaning and depth. Love obviously doesn’t come from beauty. Thank goodness for that! You offer something of depth to your man – the beautiful companionship that cannot be created in a glance.
2. We were created to appreciate beauty
We are naturally drawn to it. That’s what makes art, movies and photos so alluring. It’s natural to notice beauty. Men and women both do it. It’s not a personal slight to notice another woman’s beauty. It is just a natural acknowledgment of something we are created to appreciate.
3. Beauty is not a limited resource
Just because this woman – the one your man is noticing – is pretty, doesn’t mean you aren’t. There is no cap on beauty distribution. Learn to genuinely be happy for someone else’s success, someone else’s attractiveness and someone else’s happiness. What we sometimes forget is that these characteristics are not like a pie. It’s not as if one person receiving a huge slice results in you receiving something smaller.
4. You control your self esteem
This is hard. It’s not an overnight fix either. Media bombards us with all sorts of things we should try to base our self-esteem off of: looks, talents, friends, jobs, popularity, social class, relationship status. The problem is, all of those things can be taken away from us. There is absolutely one thing you control in your life and that is how you treat others. Your self-esteem will grow as you focus on loving others.
Then, at this weak moment of wondering if your man would rather be with that girl than you, you know you are worth loving because you love yourself.
5. His reaction says more about him than you
Yes, self esteem is important, but how the man handles this situation says a lot about his respect for you and his character. Noticing is different than ogling. If he’s doing this habitually, it’s disrespectful to you.
Communicate with him that this makes you feel uncomfortable or inadequate when he handles this situation disrespectfully.
6. Take a step back
We’re all careless at some point. We do and say things with good intentions that come off wrong. To him, this moment is probably not a big deal. In a healthy relationship, your man wants you to be happy. He isn’t deliberately intending to hurt your feelings.
Look at the whole picture of your relationship. We tend to blow careless moments out of proportion, forgetting that most of the time we have something very good going on in the relationship. You can let it go and realize it’s unintentional, or you can kindly address it.