[OPINION] Interpreters For Corruption Maladies By Bayo Oluwasanmi



“In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act” – George Orwell

Never has a nation been so ravaged by corruption. Nigerians suffer terrible maul from the deadly claws of the looters. The cruelty of man is much colder. Our people are suffocated and starved. The thieves only left the carcass in the treasury after their vicious hunting.

For years, fighting corruption is like beating a dead horse. Thanks to President Muhammadu Buhari who gave the war on corruption a beating heart. Now revenge is being served warm. Not minding we’ve lost everything to corruption, the sympathizers, friends, close allies, and extended families of corruption, believe Buhari’s approach in fighting corruption is totally insane. The times demand Buhari’s “undemocratic” surgical removal of corruption from our society.

The titillating revelations by the Jonathan National Security Adviser (NSA) Sambo Dasuki, have legally and morally hooked Mr. Jonathan to the holster of corruption. The memory of corruption from the Jonathan years conjures invocation of doom in our national psyche. With the United Arab Emirate (UAE) list of  names of corrupt Nigerians that reads like alphabetical soup, the war on corruption builds to a dramatic climax. Indeed, the soporific effects of corruption on Nigerians has altered the very existence of majority of Nigerians. With an errant embrace, we become infected by corruption. With each new revelation, the past becomes the prologue.

The names from Dasukigate and the names on the UAE list are like corruption grenades ready to explode anytime. Once the Corruption Explosive Devise (CED) is detonated, we should expect collateral damages from the war on corruption. I have deliberately chosen the Big Four – the Big, Fat, Idiot Doyin Okupe, ex-danfo driver and star Ekitigate Ayodele Fayose, the ATM Sambo Dasuki, and toxic hypocrite Femi Fani-Kayode – out of the madding crowd of looters – because of their prominence and high visibility in the Jonathan administration and a PDP run state government.

A former South Korean President, Roh Moo-Hyn (2003-2008) committed suicide for allegations that his family accepted $6 million in bribes during his term. Though Mr. Roh never accepted wrongdoing, he left a suicide note for his family and the press which read: “I am indebted to too many people… Too many people have suffered because of me… And I cannot imagine the suffering they will go through in the future.” That was in South Korean. In comparison to President Roh’s sense of remorse, most of  the people accused of corruption in Nigeria are devil’s incarnate. No remorse. No shame. This is Nigeria!

In Nigeria, public officials accused  of corruption hide in disputed details. With arrogance bluster spiced with a dubious game of figures and figments of imagination, they argued their innocence. They resort to familiar, tired template for defending their kleptomania: their political enemies are behind allegations that they have helped themselves to the public till. You’ll never see these thieves use the opportunity of their “enemies attacks” to declare what they own or don’t own and how and when they acquired their assets. Where clarity is desired they respond with evasion.

Let’s meet the interpreters for corruption maladies. Pay attention to their tenuous defenses.

“I’m Doyin Okupe, the Big, Fat, Idiot. I’m the erstwhile senior special assistant on public lies and propaganda to former President Goodluck Jonathan. I’m a renowned salesman of delicacies of lies and poison. Half my brain is tied behind my back. My specialty is political propaganda, and lies. My stance is distortion. I once described Mr. Jonathan as the Mandela of Africa. In fact, I compared him to Jesus. During the Jonathan regime, I escaped arrest and prosecution for stealing N886 million (about $6 million) meant for road construction projects which never took place. The money was diverted for my personal use. I also served as the German Shepherd for Mr. Jonathan.

“I was accused of receiving N18.2 billion Dasuki. I never got along with Colonel Dasuki retired. In fact, he twice told me to my face that he will get Alhaji Gulag and myself out of former President Jonathan’s administration. I had no knowledge of their bidding for contracts from the office of the National Security Adviser, I was not informed when they were awarded any contract neither was I in the know of what and when they were paid. I have not benefited financially from the proceeds of payment for the said contract neither can any money be traced  to me, or any of my family members or associates.”

Here comes the ex-danfo driver and star Ekitigate Ayodele Fayose the self appointed spokesman of PDP. “Hi! My name is Ayodele Fayose the ex-danfo driver and star Ekitigate. The once disgraced and impeached governor of Ekiti State. I rigged myself back to governor’s house by means of Ekitigate election rigging plan conceived and birthed with the help and approval of President Jonathan. The Ekitigate video is available on YouTube and other social media outlets. The EFCC once indicted me for stealing N416 million public fund belonging to Ekiti State. I also converted N1.4 billion meant for poultry projects for 16 local government areas of the state. No poultry was built in the four designated centers in the state. I’m responsible for the deaths of Tunde Omojola, who vied for the Ifaki Ward II council membership, Dr. Ayo Daramola, nine students of the College of Education, Ikere-Ekiti, Aseweje, Ben Ogundana, Dapo Osunniyi, Kamoru Folorunsho, Ojo Sunday, and several others. President Jonathan gave me the protective cover against all criminal prosecutions in all the cases.”

“I’m not among those lily livered Nigerians that will deny their assets anywhere. They are in the federal government and they should have access to all information both in Nigeria and abroad. I therefore challenge them to check books on owners of all properties in Dubai. If they trace any house to me in Dubai, the federal government should make public all details including pictures, location, and title documents. The government should also confiscate such property and I am ready to waive my immunity to be prosecuted. No amount of their falsehood and propaganda can silence me… the $2.1 billion arms deal is a scam because all that they are just doing is brandish figures to deceive Nigerians and demonized the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and those opposed to his dictatorship in the All Progressive Congress (APC). Till today, the amount they have charged people for stealing is not up to N10 billion and $2.1 billion they claimed was stolen is about N600 billion.”

“Hellooo! My name is Colonel Sambo Dasuki (rtd) Jonathan’s National Security Adviser (NSA). You all know me by now. I’ll not bore you with a long winded introduction. I’m the ATM for the Jonathan reelection campaign. The $2.1 billion earmarked for my office to fight Boko Haram terrorists were shared among several PDP big wigs to ensure the March 28 presidential election was successfully rigged in favor of Jonathan. I challenge the federal government for disobeying court order. The government has no moral and legal rights now to prosecute me having been in contempt of three high courts that admitted me on bail but which were not obeyed. I rest my case.”

“How are you all doing? I’m Femi Fani-Kayode, the toxic hypocrite, the famous son of the notorious Fani Power. I’m known for my Satanic Verses on issues. I also deal in oversize evangelical claptrap with stubborn myths to confuse the uninformed and gullible Nigerians. I’ve never been an impressive moral personality. I’m known for my cantankerous marginal ability. I’m a political hermaphrodite. I never missed any opportunity to show case the plague-spots in my character. My personal and public life reveals much. This is false… that I received N1.7 billion from the office of the former NSA, Colonel Sambo Dasuki. I have never received one kobo from President Jonathan’s government. I have never been in receipt of any public funds and neither was I the beneficiary of any payments in cash, transfer, cheque or otherwise from any government official during the tenure of President Jonathan. On behalf of my co-looters, I declare all accusations as persecution, selective, one-sided, unfair, biased, prejudiced, and a personal vendetta against our great leader Mr. Jonathan and our great party PDP. We’re not guilty!”

It is only in Nigeria that you’ll see politicians and public officials with all brazenness construct a wall of resistance, defense, and intimidation to justify public looting of the treasury. The phony invention and reinvention of lies of these interpreters of corruption maladies have become a nauseating comedy.

Rather than admit guilt, they resort to bland pontification. They recoil into a shell of infantile infatuation and with willful imaginary concoct lies. It’s not surprising therefore that their defenses read like praise worship of a known armed robber at his funeral eulogy. The Buhari corruption war is the most overexposed in the history of corruption of our nation. The nightmares from the corruption frontline portend hard times ahead for the thieves. They are reeling in panic and their hearts are jumping out of their chest.

We got them – real good!

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