No man has walked up to me in 10years-Lady

A worried lady decided to throw her question at MJ readers to help and we feel the advice you will give could also help Nigerians who have similar issues. Please be free to drop your candid opinion without mincing words.

I am 36years old,I work with one of the most reputable banks heading one of their branches. I earn enough to do whatever i wish. I am very comfortable but with no man to call my own. No man has walked up to me in 10years, none whatsoever. I have male friends but i don’t seem appealing enough to be dated by any of them.

Just a month ago, i met Sam. Sam claims he loves me but if you ask me, I honestly do not feel a thing for him.I don’t even think of him at all through out a day but he wants to marry me.

This is the first time a guy wants me in 10 years. If I don’t marry him, it might take another 10 years for another man to accost me. I am yet to give him an answer. I am utterly confused. I know he loves me, but i don’t love him…. I need your Advice Please. WHAT DO I DO?

Because you care, what will be your advice to this lady?

54 COMMENTS

  1. Please, it’s a very big risk to marry him if you don’t love love (depite him loving you). The most important thing is not being married, but being married to the right person. The wait may be long, but it still remains the most important thing – marrying the right person. Also, you should check your way of life to know whether you have actually been the one scaring man away from not approaching you depite your friendliness with them. If everything is alright, leave the rest to God.

  2. I will advice her 2 change her state of mind;blivin she might nt find anoda man,she should seek d face of God nd a man she’l love nd dat will also love her will come along pretty soon.

  3. Lady you are under cures. You have to restitute all the evil you have done. Bankers are thieves they humbly and quietly steal innocent peoples money.look at now you don’t know what to do? So you want to tell me that you did not hard any sexual intercourse with any man for ten years?hmmmmm. Who knows if you are still a woman? I pity that man, o o o. With all your money you don’t have peace of mind,do you think that money can buy peace or happy marriage? NO! Better go and ask God to forgive you and you take the whole money that you have stolen to Motherless Home and give it to the children and your sins will be forgiven you. Do as i said. After call me:08099422622

  4. What has transpired in d past, maybe d cause of ur problem. How on earth, he loves u as u said, but u dnt feel anything for. I will advice u dnt accept marrying him, bcoz if am d one if u behave like dat, i will certainly nt have time 4u. Try n grow feelings for him, if actually u want to be happily married.

  5. Hi

    Firstly l want to express my total disgust to those who have taken the plight of this lady as a mere joke and used the platform to insult bankers in general. Anyway God is your only hope my dear.

    My advice to you will be to seek God’s intervention first through prayer that you may be delivered because truly that is an evil spirit tormenting you. Secondly I advice against marrying that man you don’t love. Wait and be patient God will restore you. I thank God for you because you are not desperate and you are well able to look after yourself. So don’t rush because of pressure God is still on your side. Your situation is so that God can be praised.
    I will continue to pray with you. Actually do go to TB Joshua Ministries since you in Nigeria. For us in Botswana we just wish we could make it there but its difficult. So find time God will do it for you. The best of luck.

  6. dear u need no advice 4rm anybody .why nt seat and take throw a stone backward .u knw ur self beter than any one .just ask ur self questions concernin ur past. A problem knwn is half solve.and if u got God by ur side than u are very ok.u are d answer to ur question

  7. hmmm…dis is really bad. Firstly, u need to pray to God, asking Him to let u knw if d guy, sam, is right for u. But as for me, i believe love doesnt jst come from anywhere @ anytime. Its as a result of how u interract together, do things together and even relate together dat makes u feel love for him. I believe if u guys do dis, love will surely come. Dont mind all d odd words from ppl, cos it will only set one back. But put ursef together and fight it off ursef. A man of ur own will not pass u! But by prayer and physical actions! Wish u da best….

  8. Hmmm! Wat a world u find urself in…am so sori 4 u…
    My advice is dat u shuld leave and 4get al ur wealth..and b prepare to serve any man,and also comit ur way to d hand of God…

  9. Well, if the story is true, I will suggest that; 1. She shldnt marry a man she doesn’t love at all, don’t forget u will spend the rest of ur life starring at his face every moment. It late, it shldnt be wrong as well, my dear it shld worth the wait, u ve come this long, u deserve the best. 3. Pls make out time from work and get enlisted for delivereance praogram at any mountain of fire and miracles ministry ard u, to shake off the work of darkness in ur life, if u hate this suggestion or feel like not doing this then that is the more reason why u MUST do it. 4. Hope u do not have xter flaws that drives pple away from u as well. It is well with u IJN. I wish we could talk one on one.

  10. There is something called “the ghost of one’s past mistakes”,maybe thats what is troubling you. Your case is really pathetic but it requires your submission to GOD for solution dear.

  11. My advice is dat, 1. Try to learn how to lov him, 2. Whoever u lov make d person know u’ve real feelings 4 Him n allow him tim 2 Lov u bak. In most cases ladies 4get 2 open up 2 pple they’ve feelings for. There is a way do it to avoid infeelings of desperation. Creat time 4 ur toaster dont be too bussy cos u r a banker. Good luck

  12. God, wat kind of life is dis? Wat cud hav bin d prblm wit dis ur daughter? Fada help dis ur daughter in mekin ha decision. Dats all i hav 4 u.

  13. @ugo Ʋ are å big fool, Ʋ advice is only needed not the nonsense coming ur rotten mouth.. Dnt judge so Ʋ won’t be judged..
    @ lady, Ʋ need to put this in prayer Ɲ also check within Ʋ to know if Ʋ are scaring men away…

  14. You know the bible said to the MAN ‘Love ur wife’ & to the woman it says ‘Submit 2 ur husband’. I think honey, u need to start giving Sam a thought, all u need 2 do is get urself 2 a point where u’re ready 2 submit 2 him & trust me.. luv will follow. U said urself dat Sam truly luvs u, if dat is thru? Babe.. ur prayer has been answered, u jst haven’t realised it yet. Listen u dnt need a prayer house or a prophet, I know u need God & he seem 2 hav answered u. Best of luck lady.

  15. Hey Miss, like I said earlier, its only God dat answers prayers and he will surely answer yours. I don’t believe in you going to any1 for help. All you need to do is sit and pray to God and cry towards Him only and I’m very sure he will ans ur prayers. Abt the sam Guy don’t let him take advantage of ur predicament cuz men can be so decietful. Let God be ur guide. Don’t be in a rush for marriage cuz ur man is out dia and he will surely come ur way. Amen. Reach me on [email protected] or 08184884784.

  16. My Lady,don’t mind pap brain, dick head village boy like Ugo from one interior locality advice you bcos people speak out of their level of exposure and enlightenment, Ugo is a stalk illetrate and I percieve that’s the backgroud for he been falacious in writing. And my advice is don’t mind people’s advice on meeting TB Joshua bcos u might end up compounding worst problems to yourself spiritually later in life. I believe Sam is God sent and love grows” people that matters to our lives don’t usually look like it” allow him fulfill your marrital requirement and settle down, don’t be quick to think you are cursed after all you are just 36yrs. For more enquiries call 08035084793( pychophysician)

  17. I know that you are bothered about the situation you find yourself in. It is an open secret that most men are usually afraid to approach rich and well to do ladies like you for friendship or marriage, they don’t want to be embarrassed, scolded or humiliated or even branded gold-diggers. No right thinking man would like to subject himself to a disrespectful rich lady that brags or make so much noise because of what she owns. I advise you to keep low profile, don’t show off. Above all, go for deliverance and seek the face of God for direction and guidance before going into that marriage. Learn to love him, he may not be your dream man but dreams don’t always come true.

  18. @ugo is God that would punish you how dare u
    Insult ha like da.as if u are way better than ha go
    And check urself b4 u judge ha…my dearie dear
    God see’s ur situation and trust me he has not
    Forgotten u in anyway surely ur right person wld
    Come just be prayerful alwayz kay dear.tk cre!

  19. Ma dear, dia iz a word da saiz, Relax God Iz Never Late… Dunno if u av heard of such b4. Wel tek ur prblmz 2 God in prayaz cuz he alone cn do wat none cn do cuz he sees d endin 4rm d begining. I wil advice 2 go 4 councilin in ur church n tok 2 ppl abt it…. Tanx n God bless u…

  20. hmm! dis a vry serious case. but i strongly agree with one Daniella’s opinion. love does not come from any tin air, its being develop by the ppl involved. so, tell God in prayers & also try 2 develop ur love wit mr. sam. wit God by ur side, i bliv all will be well wit u!!!

  21. Beloved! I can just immagine what you are real passing through. That you have not got a man for the last ten years don’t warrant you to marry the man you don’t love. I actually believe that your season has come but you have to manage yourself. You were lucky to have been single till now if only you can sum up courage to be yourself and rethink considering those your mates that have mismarried and are regreting their choices. In Nigeria, men and women used a word they never considered in their hearts. If you accept this man, is not because you loved him but because you are despirate. What is likely to happen is that after you accept him, many other better guys will be knocking your doors. That could lead you to play double game thereby discomforting yourself. Tell this guy now to give you time to pray and think. Don’t be in hurry. Your season has come. Don’t spoil yourself. moreso don’t compel yourself to feel that you will not get another guy for the next ten years. Also think less of your money and your working position. God bless you.

  22. Hmmmmmm Y Ά̲̣̣̣̥я̩̥̊є̲̣̣̣̥ U̶̲̥̅̊ talking as if is no God in d heaven talk to
    U̶̲̥̅я̩̥̊ God to 4gif U̶̲̥̅̊. All U̶̲̥̅я̩̥̊ sin and d way U̶̲̥̅̊ ares sounding is like U̶̲̥̅̊ Ά̲̣̣̣̥я̩̥̊є̲̣̣̣̥
    @ all d man dat came U̶̲̥̅̊ D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ Ά̲̣̣̣̥я̩̥̊є̲̣̣̣̥ nt U̶̲̥̅я̩̥̊ leavel if U̶̲̥̅̊ try to take dat. Way from thouth and put U̶̲̥̅я̩̥̊ self dwon totally don’t expect president son or senatorson
    Submit ur self to God and wait for His miracle

  23. There’s no better advice nor deliverance than you seeking God’s face (that includes persistent prayer based on scriptural principles). You’ve a bible right? Its as simple as having a close communication with him and express every inch of ur problems to him. I bet he understands you more than anyone or any so-called man of God that will lure you into more troubles.

  24. My sister, you are better married than managed. Accepting a man you do not have feeling for is like carrying out a suicide bombing for boko haram. No matter how long your marriage has tarried, it must surely come to pass if only you believe in the Almighty God. With Jesus in your life, everything you desire in life must come to pass(Matt 5:33). Just wait for the appointed time because the darkest period of the night begets the morning. May God give you your dream man in Jesus name.

  25. @Loveth,Gladys and mc Alex:you guys must be blind spiritually. Look at fools giving good advice,don’t you guys know that you the advice more than the person you are given it to? @Gladys:you murderer,you aborted that [email protected]:amend your way now,if not you will see what will happen to [email protected] alex:you are a real thief,your cup will will soon be full. The lady in concern,i’m so so sorry if my comment is bad, just that i hate female bankers they go extra extra miles to meet there target, most of them end up being a single mother,or some not even getting married. Please you can still be single,it is not a sin to be single. When you grow old and die your relation can use your wealth to take good care of themselves and their family members. Marriage is not do or die affair,but without marriage you cannot be in the CELETIAL KINGDOM which is the highest degree we can attain.

  26. WTF would you wait 10 years for someone to ask you out? Why don’t you ask guys out? Quit waiting and do something about it. Walk up to a guy you think is attractive and ask him out. If it doesn’t work out, walk up to the next guy you think is attractive and ask him out. If it doesn’t work out, keep trying, if that’s what you really want.

  27. My Lady! I want u 2 knw dat FEAR is da gr8test weapon dat can destroy som1’s future easily. Ur fear is dat if u let this one go, u might not be able to meet another 1. But one tin is certain! If u marry som1 u feel noting for or som1 u feel no atom of lov for,definitely u wil 4eva liv to regret da marriage cos one dey u will come across da one u will liv to love, then INFIDELITY Will com in. My sincere advice to u is to hold ur peace, wait cos this is ur trying times, God is preparing ur mr right somwhr for u, he is on his way to locate u! Pls pls my dear, relax and wait for the right and God’s giving time. Luv u

  28. It’s better marrying someone who loves you but you don’t love than
    marrying someone you love that doesn’t love you back.
    Love’s built with time!!!

  29. Hello my dear am Desmond. My advice for you is; Thank God you said it ‘you don’t love him’ marriage is a life commitment which if you are committed wrongly might end up disastrously. The only word for you is, if you do seek the face of God twice make it trice because he plans well for us. As it is not your mind, it’s not the will of God. Which forcing yourself against the will of God can never put your will right because when you meet your rightful man there is a chemistry that must connect both of you which drives away any doubt, God doesn’t produce fake that you will say your love for your man would take time to grow. There is something in you that is also in him which produces the maximum love. That is why when a man and a woman marries they become one body and one soul so there is no way you can hate yourself or say it would take time before you start loving yourself. THANK YOU.

  30. It is unfortunate that even those who lacked the knowledge of God have made themselves his spokesmen/women,passing condemnatory judgment on a soul seeking wise counsel.Human’s definition of ‘love’ fall short of the divine meaning of the term.Getting d true meaning will help.Then you’ll see why Jesus said that it is possible to love one’s enemy.Matthew 5v44…[email protected]

  31. dnt live d relashionship , keep going closer 2 him remeber lov is being built, and dnt u ever rush things, 4rm dere u’ll no his mind, weda he is truely in luv with u. Dat is my candid advice lady.

  32. My lady, u prayer life is very low dats y u need to move closer to God, if u want to be happy in ur marriage. Cos prayer is d key to all things. Pls pray & commit urself unto God for direction.God will lead u.

  33. Pumpaction I wld hv entered u with more insults but I think u’ve got enough already so watch ur smelling and rotten mouth next time b4 u make such comment. U comment on an individual’s act and stop generalizing it idiot.

  34. God knws why for four years no man has come close to u,but hv to ask God to forgive u becouse u may hv sin against men nd God,nd dnt marri d 1 u dnt lv jst bcoz knw man as come to u,marri only 4 luv,let me tell ur hosband is close to u jst ask God to forgive u.07031646295

  35. Sweethrt, let not ur heart be troubled, frm d foundation of d world he made dem male and female and scripture says non shal lack her mate…embark on a fast seek spiritual counsel, might nt be ur Sins but maybe ochestration frm d pit of Hell or Powers frm ur Mother or Fathers house. Wrestle out evry veil of covering hanging over life. God bless U dear

  36. U̶̲̥̅̊ ar jst 36, though time į̸̸̨§ nt on ur side agn, bt I strongly advice dat U̶̲̥̅̊ don’t settle dwn with ƌ̲̣̣̣̥ι̥ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ man, everythn may be new nd strange 2u cos its been long U̶̲̥̅̊ tried lovin sm1, U̶̲̥̅̊ hav 2allow ur self 2develop dat likeness nd feelings 2wards ƌ̲̣̣̣̥ι̥ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ man, U̶̲̥̅̊ may 1 be unable 2live wtout him. And secondly its a long period of time U̶̲̥̅̊ talkn abt, it į̸̸̨§ somthin abnormal nd aswell somthin rare, ther į̸̸̨§ nothin God cannot do thru prayers. U̶̲̥̅̊ hav 2carve out time 4GOD from ur busy schedules as į̸̸̨§ expected of a banker, remembr its only GOD dt has d final say abt ur situation, try n pray if U̶̲̥̅̊ ar nt d prayin type, visit a real man or woman of GOD cos ur case į̸̸̨§ similar 2d ones under spiritual manipulation or attack, I pray dt God will see you thru as U̶̲̥̅̊ commit ƌ̲̣̣̣̥ι̥ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ problem of urs unto HIS able nd unfailing hands IJN. U̶̲̥̅̊ can reach me on 07039412486 4any assistance concernin ur problem. It į̸̸̨§ well wth U̶̲̥̅̊.

  37. My sister my question is are u born again,are u free 4rm sin,do u study ur bible to no d promise of GOD,wen GOD created Adam he also create him a wife,my lovely sister ur own husband is also in dis word,jst go to d lord in prayer,GOD we review in 2 u,wen he come’s 2 marriage u go 2 d lord in pray,many pple are 2 lazy to pray,dt y dy find it difficult to hear 4rm GOD,D best advice i we advice u to receive is for u 2 go 2 JESUS in prayer tank u nd GOD bless u.

  38. Dear, the only reason u tink u dnt love him is because u have gone ten yrs witout dating and u probably nid time to get used to him, coupled wit d fact dat d busy nature of ur job doznt allow u tink of anytin else. Take a work leave, spend more time with him. Love grows.

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