I AM A LAGOSIAN

Aminu Lekan

Garri, Indomie, Gala and Lacasera have saved more lifes than the Nigerian Res Cross. A complete balanced diet for a proper Lasgidian of which I am a number one Indigen and a number one fan. The unbeatable trio gradually captured our stomachs and became a Lagosians best food. What on earth will I have done if not for the GIGLa a.k.a Garri, Indomie, Gala and Lacasera?!  “Man must chop to survive”

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a poor guy and I can cook…..infact, don’t try my cooking skills because I’m competing with YEMKEM’s first claas student. My three course meal is not my fault, it is what the giant on Nigeria has done to my life.

As they say, “No time to check time” …..That is the anthem of every Lagosian. First things first, no time for breakfast at all. If you mistakenly wait at home for breakfast, be prepared to eat querry on your office desk too……courtsey, Lagos traffic where two lanes maagically become five. what type of MAthematics is that?! Lagos maths. why wont they say maths is difficult. So you see, automatically gala and lacasera will always be my friends. I dare not betray them every morning.

Hectic day at work as usual. All hands always on deck. No hand to use for lunch except my Oga at the top decides to stay on top of his bed at home doing……….shhhhh…you know what. Or just at home, or chasing contracts and cheques on the streets of Lagos which has become the daily prayer of my stomach so that i can find a correct ” Mama Put” to enter. Sweet Sensation, Tanterlizers or KFC is just a waate of money. When I can eat correct eba or fufu in my International Bukateria and my stomach will be praying for me, why enter tanterlizers that will give me big chicken and small food?!

Unfortunately, it’s all a dream. Hunger can force beautiful immaginations into someone’s head. My boss rarely misses office. We will always be together on empty stomachs talking to clients because, no salary for a lazy man.

As a Lagosian, my stomach and brain always think alike. There is just this unbreakable connection between them. My brain will always be calculating how to quickly leave the office to fill my stomach, while my stomach will be telling my brain to hurry up.

Setting out 5a.m for work everyday and closing 4p.m only to face every Lagosians nightmare………you guessed right……traffic jam. It is only in Lagos that you never see the cause of the hold up before the road is clear. The road derives pleasure in punishing us for riding on its toes.

Anyway, as usual it echoes….”gala gala gala gala” ……..” cold pure water, lacasera (viju milk will always be the last to be called) , viju milk”…….I’m so used to hearing them that I hear them in my dream. My stomach leaps for joy as usual.

Getting home after 8p.m is an everyday super story for many Lagosians. As a radical bachelor, I must put somethhing in my stomach otherwise, sleep won’t come. What choice do I have? Always too tired to cook, so i always have a sure carton of ” mama you do good o, you give me food to chop, you give me Indomie.”  Indomie is my sure dinner. I still wo der why I have never won anything in any if thier promo’s.

When the indomie is getting too much in my system, my stomach starts a riot so sometimes, I shut it’s mouth with correct Ijebu garri. Sweet without sugar.

Yoruba’s don’t carry last again. I eat a complete Lagos balanced diet that is why the stress doesn’t show on. my body.

Lagos has compulsorily given me a food time table and I must obey. I’m sure there are others out there living my life. if you’re one of them, keep your hustle alive and don’t carry last.

I am a proud Nigerian and I am a sharp Lagosian.

by Aminu Lekan