My Girlfriend Confessed She Is Not A Virgin, Should I Find Someone New?

Imagine you have found a perfect person and fell in love with them. But it turned out later that they had a secret that broke your heart and made you doubt if you should continue your relationship. What would you do – stay with your partner and accept them as they are, or start looking for a new one? A reader sent his letter asking for your help.

sad_man_worI have been dating a girl for about a year, and we are in love with each other.

She is my friend’s younger sister, and he described her as a very decent girl who was never seen in a company of another man, except for her friends.

I am still a virgin because I’ve always wanted to meet another innocent girl. My girlfriend knows this fact about me, but she never told me if she was one. She only would hint she wanted to share some secret with me, but insisted the right time for it must come.

Yesterday, I had enough and told her that unless she told me what’s the matter, I would never call her again. She made me promise that whatever I hear would not discourage me from seeing her. Finally, she confessed that she is no longer a virgin, that she lost her chastity to her first lover, and noone knows about that but for her elder sister and now me.

According to her, that was a one-time experience and she stopped seeing the guy upon realizing he wanted to use her as his sex toy. She says she was afraid to tell me out of the fear of losing me.

At first, I said I had no problem with it, that nothing would stop me from loving her, but now I’m starting to have second thoughts. I never slept last night because I think I deserve better than her now that I know she’s no longer a virgin.

I’ve always thought I would fall in love with another virgin and we would spend our lives together, and, until yesterday, I thought this girl was the one.

Please, what should I do? Should I tell her to look for another man? Although she loves me, she would eventually find another partner. Or should I continue with her, but how do I get over what’s on my mind?

6 Comments

  • Believe me bro… U rada luv ha mur cox she opend up to u now…she had da option of living in pretence bt she chose to tel u…If she neva did,u wudn’t v knwn mayb till later..If u wana leave ha cox she opend up to u? Pls give it a gud tot..

  • Dis gal is d best for u,she open up to meaning dt she luvs u n does nt want to lie to u.u might marry a virgin n will nt be happy truout ur life time…..gal of nawadays pretend a lot ,so virgin or nt virgin dose nt count wot matas is tru luv n happiness…God bless u as u make d rite decision

  • Bros. Don’t live this girl because she truly love you. If not so she won’t tell you anything about her challenges and if you loose her you may not get someone like her again

  • I wonder,how many virgins are available today. You don’t tie your love to a particular sentiment because it may not stand the test of time. Love ur girl as she is NOT what she is. Since you didn’t tell her what u wanted in her u don’t have to drop her now. Also, she told u voluntarily knowing that u are a virgin. If u genuinely love her and u believe that she does;go on. Many other Nigerian girls would keep it secret until u discover it urself.Good Luck. Corruption and Poverty has eaten deep into our value system in all ramifications, people don’t say the truth that much again. Accept her as she is.

  • Overcome your sentiment and love her for the sake of the Virtue: TRUTH. Truth is a rare virtue for this ‘evil generation’ you seldom find it. On the other hand if u cannot overcome this sentiment on ur own seek for God’s help. Is possible her creator has pardon her for what u are still counting against her. Me advice move on.

  • I will cite my own as an example, it occurred to me when I was dating a lady. Initially, she did not tell me maybe after a year of our courtship, she narrated her own story to me that she had slept with about three men to the extent that she aborted 3 times for one of them. It pained me because as old as i was then i did not have such an experience. Therefore, i started behaving somehow to the lady, she begged me and I accepted to marry him. We did marriage and 3 months after our wedding, my mind started flashing back to her past to the extent that I was thinking of sending her packing after. Though, we have two issues but up till now, I am not happy with her each time I think of her past. she still in my house but each time I remembered, i feel of sending her out.
    In the light of above, it is advisable for this guy to marry his choice. Because if he marry this lady now, they will not live happily in future.

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