A concerned husband suspects his wife uses sex as a means to control him and achieve her goals. The story he sent in proves, once again, that communication is the key to solving any problem. Just remember that your partner can’t read your mind!
I’ve been married for two years. Prior to our marriage, I dated her for about five years.
We have always enjoyed a healthy sex life, but I’ve also started suspecting my wife is using sex as a means of making me do what she wants, to control me. It’s not that I’m a tyrant or an idle person. I love my woman and try to satisfy her needs.
However, there are long periods, sometimes lasting for a couple of months, when she refuses to have sex with me. This often means she wants something from me: a new phone, or a some new clothes, or a weekend at her parents’ house is approaching, and she needs me to be “good”.
Thinking about the years prior to our marriage, I now realize she applied the same tactic when we were going out.
I simply don’t get it, why wouldn’t she just tell me what she wants and use sex as a pleasurable reward instead of punishing me with abstinence? Or does it mean she sees me only as a tool to achieve her goals, and sees sex as a dreadful “chore”?
I would like to hear some unbiased opinions before I finally talk to her. Thank you!