If you recall in 2014, Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and his wife Anita, who now goes by her maiden name Ebhodaghe caused quite a stare when news of divorce between the two hit the net.
The divorce was filed in April 9, 2014 at Divorce Section A, Central Family Court, First Avenue House, High Holborn, London, United Kingdom on the grounds of “unreasonable behaviour” and for the first time since that divorce, Anita is now speaking.
Anita took to her blog to discuss how her life has been changing as of late making some serious references to her marriage as she wrote. She wrote:
It is my desire to reach out and inspire you especially if you feel vulnerable and in need of a change. I hope to inspire you to believe in yourself no matter the circumstances. I want to help you recreate your life going forward, so you can live beautifully. I have been through this journey of rediscovery and nothing is as beautiful as realising one’s uniqueness as I have done. Life is a precious however, your life can go through different seasons: winter, spring, summer or autumn. Life can hit you with financial loss, disappointments, death of a loved one, a broken relationship, loss of a job, a divorce, being falsely accused or being a victim of crime. These can shatter you to pieces but you can do something about it.
Life is a gift from God and you deserve to be happy irrespective of your age, race, gender, background or financial situation. I urge you to appreciate the gift you are, you are precious and valuable. Never lose sight of who you are; begin to create new visions and dreams for your life. Let nothing stop you from growing every day. My story is not one of a bed of roses, far from it but I had a choice to either beat myself over the regret of tolerating abuse for so long or put a stop to the abuse and recreate my life for the best. My journey was not in vain. I can now help others realise that their situation does not define them.
In order to move on with life, I have come to realise that nothing is permanent. Your problem is not permanent; you can do something to change it by ensuring you do not allow the situation or the person make your life miserable. Pain is a fact of life, it is inevitable but suffering is optional. You can do something to change the pain by over looking every obstacle, take control as a force of nature to grow and expand. Do what is necessary now to use the gift God has given you to unleash your purpose.
My message to all is simple: you have value therefore discover your potential. Do not allow anybody destroy you or rob you of living a joyful life. Your life is not wasted; you have just started a different phase of life. God will show you how to use your testimony to help others and restore their lives to exuberance. Please join me to encourage and inspire others. You have a story to tell, you can contribute and participate in the dialogues here. Let us all learn from one another’s experience and reach others with the gift of love and kindness. Share your experience by emailing me or making a comment. Celebrate your uniqueness because there is only one of you.
Source: https://www.pastoranita.org/beta/
You touched me. Yes you did. May God bless you. Thank you.
How if I may ask?
I love you ma
Father of your children?You Anita have your own big problem.Idoit who profess to be a child of God.Animal, you forgot for better for worst.Money has come and you are intoxicated talking rubbish.Tell us your weakness.Strange woman like you.
My dear brother, do not address a woman like that. No matter what your vocation is, your family ranks first. God is the Ultimate, ur family ranks FIRST.
Igirigi, You are such an illiterate not to have self composure to at least write decently. Shame!
Igirigi;you sure need panadol. Even with your so called for better for worse,we are all called for peace
So called Man and woman of God divorced on grounds of unreasonable behaviour. That sounds ridiculous. Did this family ever prayed together at all? I keep wondering the type of council they will give to their members when their partners behave unreasonablely. Very funny. I pray God should open the eyes of so many blind and hypnotised members who no longer know their left from their right.
Don’t try to vindicate ursef woman, God’s verdict about marriage and divorce is supreme. And stop encouraging other women to be like you, let d bible guide them.
igirigi u are very stupid,she has her own reason before she takes that decision, not all men of called man of God are real…..be wise
My Question is : do bible support Divorce?
If No u ar not a christian. Remember the bible says not all those who called my name will enter my kingdom
It is difficult to control bleeding heart the Lord is in control my sister focus on heaven
No matter wat ws d issue,divorce is evil in God,s eye
Where is the love of God that says we should love one another as Christ loved and still loves the Church (uncondionally). One of the purposes of marriage as The Word of God says is for one to lift the other when he or falls…and moreso children who profess to be of Christ (far be it). If we know God enough, we should realise that d devil fights the institution God had started since creation and guard against every ill or are you ignorant of the devices of d devil? A woman that prays needs “cover her head”. God can never be mocked. I can’t condemn you, Anita because God is the rightful Judge. Guard yourself…because the times are evil. You should be the one preaching to me. What a shame that we are washing our dirty linen outside… 1Jn.3:16 says hereby perceive we the love of GOD, because HE laid down HIS Life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren (how much more your husband). Now as a mother, how healthy is this for your children especially a girl child? God is a perfect God, HIS blessings don’t come with sorrow. From your write up, you never mentioned that you heard from GOD. Sounds like your decision. Where is that GOD you professed. I used to read your devotionals. Is God not The God of Heaven again? Think, think and ponder again. If The Spirit of GOD is in you, you should be praying for your husband and the Ministry God gave to both of you. There is no genuine life outside Christ and there is no other happiness than to see people being saved through you. No man had ever seen God at anytime. If we love one another, God dwells in us…Beloved, if GOD so loved us, we ought also to love one another. Let The Word of GOD dwell in you richly. Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgement, because as HE Is so are we in this world. GOD will give you an answer of Peace!(If you listen to Him)
PLEASE be quiet and wait on GOD. DO NOT make statements and let people applaud you, please. Allow God in this, please. Christ is The Head of the Body.
Woman,you wore the shoes and only you know where it hurt.We can pretend if we choose to,the anointing on a man don’t tell of his character in the closet.Chris is God’s child but could have been tempted along the way and the wife knows better.I wish they reconcile….love them both.We stand by grace,we must be careful how we condemn others.
Pastor Anita; it quite unfortunate your marriage with your divorce husband had to happened in such acrimonious controversy for unreasonable betray and misunderstanding. I humbly ask you to be statefastful and resourceful in reaching out to people as you used to do in past years. I remember how substantial your devotional book help me in curtailing and tackling my enormous challenges in life. It was phenomenal and magnificent, as i learn how to get closer to God through your inspirational and devotional contributions. I want you to fasten your seat belt in doing what you know how to do. God have given you a good talent to reachout to people. please irrespective of what happen, don’t hesitate to do what you were chosen from God to do. I know you’re not exception in such divorce. It happen to many people of God. I lovely ecstatic despite such unscrupulous affair, you’re able to assist other people in actualising and achieving their dreams.
You need to continue in the trend and perhaps making it becomes momentous as you used to in past. As a woman of God, forgiveness is the only God’s tool you need to win triumphantly against such marriage abuse. With such pathway, i strongly and audaciously believed God Almighty would definitely restore your lost grace again.
The is clear as regard marriage and divorce only on scriptural ground mathew 19:9!! Mrs Oyakhilome remember the exultation at 1Co 7:28! That those who marry will have tribulation however 2Co 6:4 give us reason to endure
This couple has always enjoined christians to use the word of God to speak to any ugly situation they find themselves and it will change,it baffles me beyond comprehension,why couldnt they do the same during their marriage crisis? or are they proving the common saying,it is easier said than done? Their actions no matter how anyone sees it has invariably withered their words,will they ever preach the efficacy of speaking the word to any situation without guilt? This was supposed to be an overcomeable test for them but they both let selfishness and pride prevail..God should help them restore their intergrity even in the minds of most hypocritic members that openly excuse them of any evil and try to justify their decisions but derisively condemn them from behind
Please ma go back to your family and make things whole again. There was a saying that united will stand and divided will fall. May the grace of God enable and strengthened you.
So all of you here really believed that Pst Anita wrote these things, well the author got what he wanted by waiting for the perfect time to put a thing like this out and have many hit on this site. Go and study Pst Anita books you will know her style of writing and communication.
Mohammed made a mistake in marriage and married 4 not knowing how to preach against it,he encouraged his followers to do same if they can handle it,today even the poor among them marry 4 at the end divorce everywhere,some churches accept polygamy because their leaders made that mistake and can’t preach against it.Must we comprise christian standard because of few?the word of GOD can never change,if that is truly coming from you,something is wrong spiritually,GOD can never destroy a divine institution.The GOD of christianity can never lie
Pst chris did noting but 2 show u dat u ar dear 2 him but u stabed him @ d back by filing 4 divorce. He made u superior in his ministry and in everything he has, u (anita) was neva greatful as a wife. U are sopos 2 stick 2 ur husb nomata what, even if u hear anytin abt him, u share and encourage him. He has neva say anytin negative abt u even @ d hearin of divorce rumor. Even if ur preaching is makin sence, I wil not bliv u cos I see u as a hypocrite. Even God wil neva sopot ur actions 2wards ur marriage. Rethink
Hai maa u r my mentor no dout about dat, and u r my pst.wat I will advise is dat go and say sory 2 pst, and if u can do dis it will go a long way in d rheam Of d spirit and reconsil back 2 him. Love u maaa God bless u.
Practice what u preach, are u trying to make other women be like u? I mean trying to make them divorce their husbands?. Its not so funny that devil has gotten u to his side, how are the mighty fallen. I now wonder what u have been preaching to your congregation, u and your husband always preached on faith, so where is ur faith? For without faith no one can please God. Please my advice to u is that u don’t corrupt people’s mind with your carnal believe, don’t make other women sin like u, because Jesus suffered, all of us must suffer, but u are now running away from your cross. Christ did not promise us manna and other every good thing on earth, our reward as he said is in heaven, so why do u want to enjoy your heaven on earth?, are u a christian at all, I doubt your christian believe. U suppose to be a role model to other women, but here u are on the flour talking what I don’t know and some people are here supporting evil. God has his own way, is either u are for him or against him, u can’t follow God with your own way, u have to follow him on his own way, it’s as simple as that. I’m not a judge but what is is good and what is bad is bad, it’s obvious that u have fallen from your faith and u have sabotaged your christian believe. Its better to be put into the ocean than to make any one sin says the lord, so woman don’t make any one of these women to sin. And for those supporting her, know it today that u are supporting evil and I pray God’s anger wouldn’t be on u
May God forgive them,for they not what they doing.AMEN
May God forgive them,for they not what they are doing.AMEN
First of all there is no smoke without a fire. Staying in a marriage that will kill you emotionally, psychologically or physically should not be encouraged. If you are not happy with your spouse despite all efforts made by you, my advice is to walk away. All these “holier than thou,” “Till death do us part “claptrap should be stopped. At the end women suffer much as a result of societal condemnation. So many women suffer in silence due to the different marital abuses of their spouse. It needs a woman of strength to be able to stand up and say ” enough is enough. I want out.
Congratulations Anita.
So sorry Pastor Anita for your experience. My joy is the fact that you have been able to navigate your way out into light again, and can so reposition yourself as to find this kind of time to send a message of encouragement to others. I am impressed.
I also want to advice that if there is a way to reconcile with your husband again without being abused, I would love you to embrace it because both of you cannot and can never be complete without each other.
The best both of you can do is to find internal means of subduing the personal pain of this experience, but it will not and cannot heal the wound.
I pray for you and your husband that God will divinely intervene in this matter and fix it his own way. In as much as I am against you dying in silence, I strongly believe that your actions have given your husband a shake in his personality and can never be the person you think he used to be again.
I have been in the field and study of human behaviour for 26 years running, and I can categorically tell you that anybody that is encouraging you to continue to remain single does not love you.
Your marriage has been hit, don’t remain on the floor, get up and reclaim it back from the devil. Not everything can be gotten from a law court. there are things that are best gotten on our knees.
Yes, you have made your point, now is the time to prayerfully go back to your family. There is no beauty or joy in a broken home, no matter the attractive nature of your reasons. Have that in mind, and I promise you, the God of heaven will make sure you recover everything that you have lost in the past.
My brethren please I plead you to come together as husband and wife to the glory of God. Let brotherly love continue as apostle Paul said. Our faith are not the same. To avoid kindergartens around us backsliding in their faith. I pray that God will bring two of you together Amen.
WOW! This is an eye opener to all of us. I urge you to be observant. This requires believers to watch and pray. So in your excitement, look around you. If you cannot ask questions then something is definitely wrong. Jesus asked, ‘What will it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?’ You have the answers.
May God help us, but i pray that you and ur husband come together. I LOVE YOU MAMA
Forget about the things you cannot change and focus on being thankful. Don’t put your life on hold, rather plan what you would like to accomplish in one week, one month, three months and in a year’s time. Thank you pastor Anita for this write up, i love this God bless you.
Forget about the things you cannot change and focus on being thankful. Don’t put your life on hold, rather plan what you would like to accomplish in one week, one month, three months and in a year’s time. Thank you pastor Anita for this write up, i love this God bless you.
they are but humans u knw….so no condemnations of any kind….remember no one is perfect….we r all still struggling 4 perfections
THE COMMENTS HERE ARE POINTING TOWARDS INEVITABLE RECONCILATION WITH YOUR HUSBAND. I AM NOT DISPUTING YOUR TRAUMA IN RESPECT TO THE DIVORCE RELATED PROBLEM YOU ARE ENTANGLED WITH, BUT THEN , YOU NEED TO BE CONSCIOUS OF THE PLACE OF GOD IN THIS MATTER WHICH TO ME STANDS SUPREME. YOU ARE NO DOUBT A MODEL TO MANY, BUT YOUR ADMIRERS WITH THIS ACTION MUST HAVE BEEN PUT TO A FIX WHICH COULD LEAD TO THEIR BACKSLIDING .RECONCILATION WTH YOUR HUSBAND IS INEVITABLE MY BELOVED PASTOR.
In all….no matter wat might ve happen,all we need to do as christian…is to keep praying to God to intervene….condemnation will not do anytin positive…Pastor Anita,God will minister to u…
You must be a very brave woman to have come out to say you want to devoice a popular pastor like your ex-husband. You must have had enough to have made that decision to finally leave him. I was a member of the then “Believers Love World” way back in university of Benin before the named was changed to Christ Embassy.
I am not judging anyone but the practice of that church then was nothing to write home about. If that is still the way members and pastor of Christ Embassy are still behaving, I will say Anita you stayed too long in that marriage.
On the other hand, you must have been helping the pastor cover up some of the misdeed happening in that church. You where part of the love world so you must have known that what was or is happening at that church is not godly. Only God Almighty will judge all of us but when a pastor is knowingly leading the congregation astray, there is God oooo.
My question to you Anita is do you think you would have left Chris if you were not so comfortable even when you knew what he was doing wrong? Is it the comfort now that makes you think you can’t take the abuse anymore? I know you have always had rich parents and you have never lacked anything your father could not provide for you but it is certainly anything compared to what you have now. Did you devoice your husband because you are too rich to take shit from him now? Lets be honest with ourselves now.
Any way, May the will of God be done in our lives
I do not believe that the write-up is from Anita. May the Lord have mercy on us for what we write or say about this servant of God