Relationship expert, Joro Olumofin, has penned an open letter to men about how to approach a woman they have an interest in.
According to Joro, men should not show their interest by spending money or projecting cash or gifts to the women they are interested in.
Read his full post below.
Letter to Nigerian men. “Don’t start with spending money or projecting cash or gifts to a lady you are interested in”
Based on Psychological principles such as “Primacy rule”, & “Learning Theories”, the first stimulus you present in an experiment if pleasurable must be repeated or continued if you want to keep your test subjects interests remaining intact. I.e if you start with something; that’s what you will be remembered for and also you must continue it because that’s the basis Or foundation of your relationship.
This being said, a lot of men today are guilty of throwing money, gifts, iPhone, bags, shoes, perfumes first at women before even forming any ” intellectual or mind connection” with their love interest.
These same men later complain that ladies ask them for money too much, these ladies present them with a reservoir of requests & when there’s no money or gifts there’s nothing to talk about. FRIENDSHIP SHOULD COME FIRST BEFORE SPENDING MONEY.
The major problem with our generation regarding relationships is that ” sex ” is now synonymous with “money”. Men believe that if they don’t spend money or show off their assets, house, cars ladies won’t pay them any attention which is TRUE and also ladies because of peer pressure, unavailability of jobs, recession mentality, hardships believe that money shows love & caring.
Being broke to some ladies is a crime which warrants insults or derogatory names. As a result, you see ladies make references like I just met this guy ” he drives a benz, he bought me an iPad, he lives In Asokoro Abuja OMG! He’s a nice guy. How do you know he’s a nice guy??? when you never properly courted him. Materialism and Money have take over in our generation in relationships.
Fellas, don’t spend 1 kobo on her first, take her on dates, play snake and ladder, play ludo with her, take her to have drinks or movies. Don’t start with materialistic things. Let’s put a stop to Money before Love. Love should come before money.